Total pages in book: 185
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 180510 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 903(@200wpm)___ 722(@250wpm)___ 602(@300wpm)
I deflate. I was ready for him to scold me for saying I instead of he. I was ready for him to give me part two of the you’re-a-good-person pep talk. “Just be you,” I whisper, snaking my arms around his waist.
“Who am I?”
I close my eyes, feeling exhausted. “Everything.”
“Call in. Don’t go to work today,” he says.
I peer up at him. My gut reaction is to roll my eyes at the ridiculous suggestion. I don’t skip work. That’s not me. I also don’t ignore my gut reactions. For some reason, I find myself nodding.
“I’m tired. Can we crawl into your bed and sleep until noon? I have to write up some reports, but I can do that later.”
Again, I nod. Then I text Dr. Cornwell before sliding into bed next to Colten. He pulls me to his warm body and kisses my forehead.
Maybe it’s Colten’s embrace or maybe it’s sheer exhaustion, but I sleep until eleven-thirty without a single vision or dream. I wake before him, but I don’t move. His face is so close to mine; I can’t help but inspect every tiny detail from the little scar by his eyebrow to the gray working its way into his five o’clock shadow. Long eyelashes. Full, downturned lips.
God … it’s always been him.
Colten’s Josie is kind. Colten’s Josie wouldn’t harm anyone. Colten’s Josie is confident and smart. Colten’s Josie doesn’t run from fear. I like Colten’s Josie.
As if the spinning thoughts in my head are making actual sounds, Colten blinks open his eyes.
“I’m going to need help because self-doubt is a pernicious bitch. Your job is to get me there. Get the job done. And remind me every day that I’m your Artemis. Okay?”
Colten blinks slowly. “What did I miss?” he asks in a sleepy voice. “Get you where? Get what job done?”
“Get me to the altar. Make sure I’m wearing white, but I don’t look ridiculous. Don’t take no for an answer. Then just … hold on to me.”
It takes a few seconds for things to register, but when they do, his grin swells, engulfing his entire face.
It’s a glorious smile. Spectacular. Just like him.
I give him my best smile as well, but it hurts. Everything inside my chest hurts. It hurts to stay. It hurts to walk away. Life hurts. I just think it could hurt a little less with Colten in it. And … I hurt because I’m scared out of my mind that this is a terrible idea. But … he trusts me. And … I trust him.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
“Want to talk about it?” Dr. Cornwell asks when I arrive in the conference room.
“About?” I fill a cup with coffee while everyone else takes a seat at the table.
Dr. Cornwell pours a generous dose of creamer into his coffee. “You took a personal day yesterday.”
“And?”
“It’s your first personal day.”
I smile. “Well, that’s not true. I took a lot of days off after I died.”
Stirring his coffee, he eyes me. I half expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. Not even a smile. “I can only imagine what you must be going through. Has it gotten any better?”
Better? He thinks I believe I was a young girl murdered by Winston Jeffries. I can only imagine what he would think if he knew the truth.
The truth …
Is it true?
Truth is ascribed to things representing reality. I’ve never felt so out of touch with reality. How could I possibly know what’s true?
“I’m getting married.” That’s my brilliant answer. If I just believe hard enough, marrying the boy I’ve loved for as long as I can remember might be the answer to … something.
Dr. Cornwell’s bushy, gray eyebrows jump up his forehead. “I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.”
Gotta hand it to Alicia, she keeps our talks a secret.
“Colten Mosley.”
Those bushy brows take a dive into a sharp V of confusion.
“Detective Mosley.”
“Oh. How am I just now hearing about this?”
“The engagement?”
“All of it. I had no idea he was courting you.”
For a second time, he makes me smile. It feels like something a normal human would do. I’ve never felt perfectly normal, but it was far better than not feeling human.
“How long has this courting been taking place?”
I chuckle. Now he’s doing it to get a reaction from me. “Since we were nine.”
“Oh good lord … that’s some stamina.”
I can’t help myself. “Yes. Colten has a lot of stamina.” I smirk.
Dr. Cornwell glances down at his coffee mug; then his gaze jumps back up to mine. He just got it. “Well…” he clears his throat, and I swear he’s blushing a bit “…I suppose congratulations are in order.”
“Thanks.” I really need to call my parents. They should have found out before my boss. I glance past him to the rest of the MEs at the table. “Can we keep it between us for a few days? I haven’t told all of my family.”