Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 39136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
“Thank you for the apology. It means a lot. And I’m sorry about your family,” I said, remembering now what a huge sports aficionado his father had been and a bit of a hard-ass at football games, if my memory served me well. “So why now?”
He briefly shut his eyes, then opened them and focused on me. He was such an attractive guy, and even more so now, owning his truth. Hopefully, this was the beginning of his road to contentment because the opposite was being miserable. I was grateful for my family at that moment and for good friends I never had to hide from.
“I guess…during the ceremony, there was this moment while they were saying their vows, and Ryan looked so fucking happy. I…” He gulped as if trying to rein in the rush of emotion. “I felt sick to my stomach that I would never have that with someone. It would always be a lie, and I can’t do it anymore.”
“I get it. Of course I do,” I sympathized. “And your date?”
“She’s just a friend,” he admitted. “I wanted to be attracted to her. I wanted it with all my might. But I…I can’t keep pretending.”
“Congrats,” I said, and his eyebrows scrunched together. “For coming out to someone. It’s only the beginning.”
“Holy fuck.” He placed his face in his hands, his shoulders trembling. “Is that what I’m doing?”
“Suppose I shouldn’t have assumed. Have you ever said those words to anyone else?”
“Hell no.” He sat down on the couch behind us. “I can barely breathe right now.”
No matter what went down between us, I couldn’t help feeling compassion, so I squeezed his shoulder in support. “Have you ever…been with another guy?”
“I wanted to. I’ve put myself in situations…” He shook his head. “But I just couldn’t do anything past kissing and a little touching. Kept my distance from them too.”
“You’ll get there. Sometimes just admitting it out loud can open the floodgates to change. Or at least baby steps. There’s no timeline, and your story is your own.” I noted the utter relief in his eyes. “And hey, if it helps, welcome to the family. Our community sticks together when it’s important. We’ve got each other’s backs. So if you ever need a listening ear…”
“Fuck, man. Thank you.” Dawson looked visibly different now, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
“And by the way? My brother accepted me without question, and he’ll do the same with you whenever you’re ready,” I said, glancing toward the ballroom. “He’s the best kind of guy.”
“He is, and I’m so happy for him,” he said, then frowned. “Fuck, I’m so embarrassed about what I did—hiring that stripper.”
“Yeah, you’re lucky he didn’t kick your ass,” I said with a laugh. “But now I see it so clearly. You were overcompensating, weren’t you?”
He nodded. “And I think your boyfriend knew it too.”
“He’s not my…Elliot’s my best friend.”
“You’re joking, right?” he replied, incredulous. “That kiss in the hallway?”
I winced. “Was for show.”
“Dude, that was not for show. That was real as hell. He’s totally into you, and you’re into him. It’s so obvious you adore each other.”
I looked away, my flush deepening. “I…I don’t know if he—fuck.”
“He doesn’t know how you feel, does he?”
“No. I’ve been too scared to tell him.” I finally met his eye. “See? We’re all works in progress.”
“I guess so.” He looked beyond my shoulder when we heard the deejay make an announcement.
“We should get back.” I started walking toward the ballroom, and Dawson followed.
At the door, we did the whole man-bro hug where we clapped each other’s backs. “You should tell him,” he said close to my ear. “I promise you won’t regret it.”
When we got inside, the deejay was just getting ready to announce the bride and groom in the center of the floor. I searched for Elliot and found him standing near the wall, waiting for me. He looked uncertain as our eyes met.
“What did he want?” Elliot asked as his gaze tracked Dawson walking over to the table where his date was seated.
“To apologize. For everything.” I blew out a breath, a bit shocked at all that had happened. “He said he’s ready to stop lying to himself.”
“Whoa, I wasn’t expecting that,” he mused.
We watched Ryan and Kate grinning at each other as everyone clapped.
“Me neither,” I replied distractedly as I spotted my mother motioning to me near the bridal table. “I’m sorry I can’t sit with you during dinner.”
“No worries. Your parents are awesome company,” Elliot said as we padded toward the front of the ballroom, where our tables were located. “And hey, I know you’ll be nervous until you give your speech, so look for me if you need to focus on someone.”
Fuck, he knew me so well.
“Will do.” I kissed his cheek.
“What was that for?” Elliot asked, his eyes growing serious.