Total pages in book: 42
Estimated words: 39136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 39136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 196(@200wpm)___ 157(@250wpm)___ 130(@300wpm)
I dipped my head, my skin feeling heated as I thought about early that morning when I’d crawled under the sheets and given Elliot a blowjob that apparently rocked his world.
I didn’t understand my motivation for doing it. Was I giving back in kind what he’d already given me? Or maybe it was that the precious couple of hours I’d spent with my dad and brother last night made me realize that those sorts of moments in life were rare, and you should take advantage of happiness whenever you could. And putting my mouth on Elliot and dragging those noises from deep in his chest while his fingers burrowed in my hair made me so fucking happy. I’d gotten something out of it too—rubbing my shaft against the sheets created enough friction for me to shoot off right after he came in my mouth and I swallowed it down.
I tried to refocus on the task at hand, and once everything was set, Elliot and I went up to our room. I put on my tux and Elliot his suit that hugged him in all the right places, and then we only had a handful of minutes to admire each other in the mirror before we were off to the grand ballroom to line up for the ceremony. Ryan teared up when Kate walked down the aisle, which made me feel even more emotional, especially as I recalled our talk last night.
“I’m the happiest I’ve ever felt in my entire life, and I can’t wait to share forever with Kate,” Ryan told Dad and me over a shot of the whiskey he’d brought in his luggage for the occasion.
“I’m so happy for you,” Dad said. “It’s how I felt about your mother, and to this day, I’m still convinced marrying her was the best decision of my life.”
I wanted to say something myself, to tell them how my feelings for Elliot had morphed into something way more profound that terrified me, but the words got stuck in my throat.
“You’ll figure it out too,” my father said with a pat to my knee, and all I could do was nod.
I looked over at the attendees, searching for Elliot. He was seated in the second row, behind my parents, and when I met his gaze during the vows, his eyes softened, making my stomach flutter and my chest swell with an ache that it seemed only he could satisfy. I’d put off having the inevitable conversation with him because I was scared that whatever newfound feelings I had were one-sided, even though my heart told me I was wrong.
But I’d been mistaken before, and if Elliot just wanted to be friends-with-benefits, I wasn’t sure what I’d do. As far as I was concerned, he was extraordinarily special in every way, and I wasn’t sure I’d ever recover if he didn’t feel the same. I’d always told myself I would hold out for someone who accepted me just as I was, and Elliot had been there all along. I just hadn’t seen it before. Not like this.
I’d only allowed myself to glance at Dawson once during the ceremony, and he had the strangest look on his face that I couldn’t even begin to decipher. I ignored him after that, clapping loudly when Ryan and Kate were pronounced husband and wife and they kissed.
The time between the ceremony and the reception was spent with the photographer taking a hundred different photos in various locations, the last of which was outside, near a garden of spring flowers. I was relieved when the last photo had been snapped and we were ushered back inside.
The reception had already begun, with an open bar and appetizers, and as we passed through the lobby on our way there, I was rendered speechless when Dawson approached us. “Morgan, could you…do you think we could talk?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. His date had apparently gone off to the reception hall to wait for him, which made it obvious he’d been leading up to this.
“Yeah, sure.” I glanced at Elliot, who’d been included by my parents in some of the family photos, even though he’d protested. Mom had insisted he was family and that there was no doubt Elliot’s parents would’ve included me too had I been his date to one big event or another.
“Want me to stick around?” Elliot asked, looking wary, and I could understand why. The guy had been a total dick up to this point.
“No, it’s all right. I’ll meet you inside.”
I waited a beat until the lobby had cleared. “What’s up?”
“I just wanted to say…I’m sorry, okay? About what happened when we were kids—running out on you, then ignoring you for years, even after Ryan told me about your diagnosis. I’ve been an asshole, and you didn’t deserve that.” Fucking finally. Dawson’s hands were shaking, giving me a clue how difficult this conversation was for him. “The truth is, I was so afraid. Still am. I knew my family would never accept me if I…so I just denied that part of myself.”