Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Time and again, he’d thrown those possibilities and Erin’s unspoken love back in her face.
Cole ran a hand over his burning eyes. “Macy?” He looked for her but she’d disappeared, having obviously headed upstairs to pack up Erin’s things while he’d been lost in thought.
A few days, she’d said. Not a lot of time to fix the situation and change a lifetime. But if he wanted Erin, and heaven knew he did, Cole had to try.
* * *
Hospital rules gave Cole fifteen minutes with Jed for this first post-surgery visit. Since he’d met with the doctor this morning, Cole thought he was prepared, but the sight of his father hooked up to so many tubes—breathing tube, stomach tube, IV, chest tube, and God knew what else—made Cole’s breath catch in his throat. He reached out only to realize Erin wasn’t there to steady him, and that, more than anything, cemented the decisions he’d made and the things he needed to do once this visit ended. All with no guarantees that he’d get what he wanted in the end.
Cole pulled up a chair to the edge of his father’s bed, close to his head. Jed lay sleeping, and Cole didn’t wake him. He needed rest, and it was enough to know he was breathing, his heart was pumping, and there was a chance for them to try to come to terms with each other. For the sake of his child, if not for himself. Cole had long since stopped expecting anything from Jed, and that hadn’t changed.
“Hey, Dad.” Since he had his father’s ear, if not his attention, Cole decided to talk to the man, regardless of whether or not he could hear. “Glad you came through the surgery. You look like hell, but you’re strong enough to get through this.”
Cole spoke low, wanting only to say what was on his mind, what had been in his head and his heart for all these years. “I know I was a pain in the ass growing up. I’m betting my own kid will give me a run for my money.” Cole managed a smile at the thought, along with a solid kick of fear.
He drew a deep breath. “But I’m not sure why we could never find common ground. Even as adults.” He hesitated before saying the next thing, but decided he had to get it out before the feelings poisoned him even more. “I’m not sure why you hate me so much or why what I do now is such a disappointment.” Cole shook his head, the pain of all the years nearly choking him.
“I won’t do that to my kid. At least I’ll be aware of trying to do better.” In reality, Cole had no idea how to handle a kid and wished the baby would come with an instruction manual. At least he had Erin to guide him. No matter the result between them personally, he had faith they’d do their best to co-parent.
Cole wanted so much more than some formal arrangement, but after pushing her away for so long and hurting her in ways he was sure even he didn’t know about, he didn’t know what she wanted from him anymore. She wasn’t answering her phone, returning his calls, or replying to his texts to see how she was doing. Not a good sign.
He was forging ahead with his plan anyway because no matter what Erin ultimately decided, leaving his job and starting a life here in Serendipity was the right thing to do for Cole and for the child he wanted a relationship with.
“I’m going to try to do better than you or I’ve managed so far,” he said to the man lying in the hospital bed.
To Cole’s surprise, Jed opened his eyes, meeting Cole’s gaze. He swallowed hard, wondering how much his father had heard. Wondering if anything he’d said could break through the hard shell that surrounded Jed Sanders.
The same shell that Cole had protected himself with . . . until he fell in love with Erin and learned how much she—and life—had to offer.
* * *
On doctor’s orders, Erin was on bed rest for a week. If she had no more cramping, she could then start to move around slowly and work her way back to a normal routine. But Erin had already decided her normal had to change, and she had no desire to wait to start making modifications in her life. If she couldn’t go to the people she wanted to see, she’d just have to ask them to come to her.
Erin held court from the couch in her family room. Her parents, brothers, and friends came by, Macy with a different slice of Aunt Lulu’s cake each day. Although Cole had texted her and she saw missed calls and voice messages on her cell, she wasn’t ready to talk to him. Not until she had finished getting herself and her life together. Then when she could act like lawyer-Erin, not Erin-in-love, she’d face him and know she could let him go without falling apart after he left.