Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91622 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 458(@200wpm)___ 366(@250wpm)___ 305(@300wpm)
“I know how I feel, what I want—and sometimes I think I’m on the verge of breaking through to him. But then something clicks in his male brain, and he withdraws. It’s like he’s feeling too much, and it scares him.”
“Maybe that’s true. Remember, he doesn’t have two parents who are still together like yours are. By the time his mother married her second husband, Cole was older. Cynical. With his negative views about himself already formed by Jed. You know how young and impressionable children can be damaged by bad parenting.”
“Cole said the same thing to me once. When I asked him why his stepfather’s positive views of him didn’t override his father’s negative ones.”
There are only so many times you can hear negative shit before you start believing it yourself. By the time we got out, I’d had sixteen years of disappointing Jed under my belt.
She shivered at the memory. “Every time he pushes me away, I promise myself I won’t react. But it hurts, and I push back.” This time, she had done worse than that.
Unless and until you’re ready to commit to an us, don’t you dare ask me to call it anything else. Because you’re right about one thing. The way you’re behaving right now? I do deserve better.
She’d reacted with hurt and anger, hormones and frustration, and by doing so, she’d validated his worst fears about himself. She rubbed her hands over her eyes.
“You’re human, Erin. You can’t blame yourself for acting like it.”
She forced a smile for her mother’s sake. “You’re the best, you know that?”
“So are you, honey. And so is that man of yours.”
Erin nodded in agreement. She knew that. Now. “I just wish he believed it too.”
Her mother patted her shoulder. “If anyone can show him the error of his ways, it’s you.”
Erin shook her head, not as certain as her mother in her abilities. Sure, it was easy to see things clearly when not overwhelmed with him. By him.
Now to somehow remember that when dealing with the hardheaded but warm-blooded man she desperately wanted for herself.
* * *
Cole stared at the ceiling in the bedroom, wondering how his life went from the solitary living being undercover entailed, to . . . this completely complicated fuckup. Didn’t matter, anyway. One thing he knew for sure—this ended. Now.
Erin’s outburst merely cemented what he should have known all along. She wasn’t cut out for his kind of life or affair. Every time he was with her, he gave her false hope, only to pull it away again when he withdrew. No more.
The way you’re behaving right now? I do deserve better.
And he intended to make sure she got it, by getting her through this stalker mess with what was left of her emotions and pride intact, then walking away. Just like he should have done all along.
Cole’s cell phone rang, interrupting him from his painful thoughts. “Sanders,” he said, happy to talk to someone, anyone, to take him out of his own head.
“It’s Rockford.”
“What do you have for me?” Cole asked, eager for any news that would end Erin’s nightmare faster.
“When do I get you back?” the other man asked.
Cole wasn’t in the mood for games. “Never, if I don’t get some answers.”
Rockford cursed.
Cole braced his free hand beneath his head. “Not joking.”
“I can’t believe you’re threatening to sacrifice everything for a piece of ass.”
Cole clenched his jaw tight, and he actually thought he might burst a blood vessel. “Talk about her like that again, and I’ll offer my services to the federal government instead.”
His boss let out a low groan. “She’s not just your baby’s mother.” Another round of cursing commenced. “And I’ll be losing you anyway.”
“No, you won’t. Give me what I need, and I’ll be back before you know it.”
He could hear the sound of shuffling papers in the background. “Victoria Maroni went AWOL on Witness Protection after she testified.”
Cole bolted upright in bed. But instead of swearing up a storm or going crazy, everything inside him went silent, much as it did when he was undercover and things were about to come to a head. “The feds didn’t follow up on her?”
“Why should they? She did her job, testified, and the guy was convicted. They won’t spend manpower or money to keep track. She’s not their problem anymore.”
But she was his, and Cole had just gotten proof that Victoria had dropped off the grid.
He ran a hand through his hair. The crazy woman could be anywhere, including Serendipity. But how the hell could she have been in such a small town all this time and not have drawn attention to herself? Unless she just came and went, slipping in and out unnoticed.
“You there?” Rockford asked into the silence.
“I’ve got to follow up on something. I’ll be in touch.”
“Hey! I got you your information. You owe me—”