Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92636 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92636 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 371(@250wpm)___ 309(@300wpm)
Then, last night, while lifting weights at the Y, he’d made the decision to head home after the weekend. He’d called his father and put Simon off, telling him that he couldn’t make the decision about the job immediately. He just wasn’t ready. Simon pretended to understand, but Mike knew from his subdued tone that he really didn’t.
Which was why he needed space from everything and everyone. Once he returned to New York, he’d breathe deep, stand back, and see what it was he really wanted out of life. He couldn’t figure that out with pressure at every turn. And though Cara hadn’t pressured him—hell, if he didn’t call her, she certainly hadn’t called him—he felt the weight of responsibility sitting on his chest.
He cared for her more than he’d ever cared for any woman before. He couldn’t imagine his life without her bright smile and smart mouth, but he couldn’t come to her free and clear of baggage and fear. And she deserved more than that. She deserved a full commitment and Mike couldn’t manage one. The only thing he could say in his defense was that he’d never led her on or promised her anything more than what they shared.
So why did he feel lower than pond scum now?
Because he’d hurt her and he’d rather shoot himself with his own gun than cause her pain.
And after the wedding, Mike knew he’d be doing just that.
* * *
Joe and Annie’s wedding ceremony brought tears to Cara’s eyes. She sat in an aisle seat, Alexa on her left, giving Cara a prime view of the beautiful bride as she walked by in a spectacular ivory-colored, body-fitting dress. The color had been chosen in respect for the fact that this was her second marriage, yet Annie’s first husband, Nash, sat with his new wife, Kelly, in the third row. Annie and Kelly had a unique friendship, but both women agreed that making Kelly a bridesmaid would have been a touch awkward. In true Annie form, her blond ringlets hadn’t been tamed—because as she’d told Cara at the coffee shop, Joe loved her wild hair. Her eyes sparkled with happiness, as did the groom’s; he waited impatiently in a dark suit and tie at the end of the aisle.
Everything about the wedding, from Annie’s father walking her down the aisle to the man of her dreams waiting for her at the other end, hit Cara with an emotional pang, reminding her of all she’d never have. Not with Mike, who’d spoiled her for any other man, of that she was certain.
When the couple promised to love and cherish each other, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, in joy and in sorrow, for as long as they both shall live, Cara nearly fell apart. Only Alexa’s strong kick to Cara’s ankle, which gave her something else to focus on, prevented her from hiccupping and bawling out loud.
“Ouch!” Cara hissed.
Alexa smiled. “That’s what friends are for,” she whispered back.
Mike sat two rows behind her, Sam and Erin on either side. She’d caught a glimpse of them as she walked in, forced a smile at her friends, and done her best not to meet Mike’s gaze. They’d talk later, she was sure, but all her concentration had been on getting through the ceremony. Whatever he had to say didn’t matter. She was finished with the kind of relationship he was willing to give.
She loved him. She knew it. Had known it for a while, even if she’d never allowed the word to surface in her brain. But between the visit to her mother and Annie getting a second chance at real happiness, Cara realized that as much as she loved Mike, she had been settling for whatever crumbs he’d been willing to give. Granted, until the last week they’d been spectacular crumbs, but mere morsels nonetheless.
Too soon, the ceremony ended and the crowd dispersed to . . . where else? Joe’s. Despite her mood, Cara couldn’t help but enjoy the celebration, which consisted of toasts, some roasting of the groom by his best friends, and a lot of dancing. Through it all, Cara felt the heat of Mike’s gaze on her skin. The red dress she’d bought under duress seemed to impress him, if the sizzling look in his eyes was any indication. But he didn’t approach her to dance, and talking would have been impossible anyway. The music was too loud, the people too packed and crushed together.
The bride and groom fed each other cake, Joe seductively pulled off the garter, and soon the single women were gathered for the bouquet toss. If asked, Cara couldn’t say how it had happened, but somehow, Annie tossed the flowers, and Tess, who hadn’t yet turned sixteen, ended up in possession of the bouquet.