 by M. Robinson.jpg)
Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 65041 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65041 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
She's twenty-years younger than me.
Half my age.
And twice the trouble.
After two decades of serving, I come home to find nothing's changed, except her. She's still the same carefree girl with wild eyes and a smart mouth. A mouth I've wanted to tame for years, but I couldn't back then and I can't do it now.
This time I have a job to do and she keeps getting in my way. Because removing her from my life is impossible...
She's my little sister's best-friend.
*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************
Prologue
Jace
I watched with stone-cold eyes as the shiny black casket was lowered into the dirt ground, taking my mother’s body with it. Heaven cried right along with my family as raindrops seeped into my crisp white Navy SEAL dress uniform. With each drop, I felt a little more of myself die along with her until darkness surrounded me despite it being broad daylight.
I could feel everyone’s eyes on me like a noose around my neck. Especially my family’s. They were waiting for me to react, waiting for me to break down, waiting for me to do something.
Anything.
Trust me, I wanted to comfort my family…
I just didn’t know how anymore.
I was twenty-eight years old and should have been the son who’d spent the most time with her, but I had been defending my country for the past ten years. I enlisted the day I graduated from high school. The Navy made me a man even though I felt like a little boy who simply yearned for his mother’s love at that moment.
I was Elite Forces—the best of the best by land, sea, and air. I led missions, did offensive raids, demolitions, reconnaissance, search and rescue, and counterterrorism. There wasn’t anything I couldn’t do. I made sure of it. My career was my life, and sadly enough, I wasn’t around for my family. I was the eldest of six kids in the Beckham household, with a twenty-year age gap between me and my youngest sibling, Haven.
She was only eight years old, and her whole world was crashing down on her. I didn’t know how to comfort any of them. I remained the hardened soldier I was trained to be; desensitizing myself was how I stayed on top.
I internalized all of my emotions; burying them deep inside me was the only way I’d survive this day and the future.
I didn’t get to say goodbye to her.
I missed so many holidays, birthdays, and special events. The list was endless of how much time I lost with her. The guilt was eating me alive. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, as if I stopped breathing right along with her.
One fatal car accident changed our entire lives by a fucking fifteen-year-old punk-ass kid who was selling drugs. All I wanted was one minute alone with him. He should have been the one who was buried that morning, not our mother.
I couldn’t tell you how long I stood there watching my life unravel in front of my eyes. It could have been a minute, an hour, or a day that flew by. Time just seemed to stand still while everything shattered around me.
Piece by piece.
One by one.
After today, nothing would be left of me.
Suddenly, I felt Haven’s hand in my grasp, and I glanced down to look at her. Her eyes were swollen, her cheeks were sunken, and her face was pale. She looked like she had aged ten years overnight. She was no longer the little girl my parents prayed for. After twenty years and five sons, their prayers were finally answered. Haven had the least amount of time with her, and now she’d be surrounded by only men as she grew up and became a woman.
I wouldn’t be there to watch it happen. My duty was to my country, and I’d return to the battlefield with a broken heart and a guilty conscience. I thought I had all the time in the world to be part of my family. Instead, I just lost the biggest part of what made us one.
Tears loosely flowed down Haven’s face, breaking my heart a little more if that was even possible. I wanted to hug her, kiss her, tell her everything would be all right.
I didn’t.
I couldn’t.
It’d be a lie.
And I was a lot of things, but I wasn’t a liar.
While I held one of her hands, her best friend, Cove, held the other, offering her support the only way an eight-year-old could. I once again brought my stare forward, squeezing Haven’s tiny grasp and providing the only comfort I knew how to give. I thought about how much she looked like our mother. You’d think I’d find solace in that. Instead, it was pure and utter torture.
My brother Reid, their second son, gave the eulogy. I was the soldier, and still, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I tried to stay present, but it was no use. I was lost in my own hell, waiting for I don’t know what to occur because my nightmare had only just begun.
I didn’t get to say goodbye to her.
It echoed in my mind like a broken record.
It was the only thing I heard…
Felt.
It completely consumed me.
Deeper and deeper, I sought refuge within me, fully aware nothing would ever be the same again.
Especially our family.
When the funeral was over, everyone in attendance returned to our house with food, drinks, and condolences. I swear if one more person told me how sorry they were, I would lose my shit. From the second I stepped inside the front door, it no longer felt like home. The woman who made it one was gone forever.