Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 62015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 310(@200wpm)___ 248(@250wpm)___ 207(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 62015 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 310(@200wpm)___ 248(@250wpm)___ 207(@300wpm)
Is there anything else that you need from me, anything bothering you?”
“Not right now, I’m sleepy, maybe later.”
“You can sleep after you’ve eaten something.....”
“I’m not really hungry.....”
“I didn’t ask it’s been hours since you ate anything, you’re eating.”
“I see my near death experience didn’t change your bossy ways.”
“Yeah it did, now I’m going to be even bossier, sucks to be you.”
She rolled her eyes at me but I noticed the color coming back to her cheeks. I’d see that she ate if I had to spoon feed her every morsel, and when her body was healed we’d get to work on her heart.
One thing was for sure, no one or nothing was ever coming between us again.
Carrie
Okay, what the hell happened? Seriously, I have no idea what the fuck happened, I’m not sure how to deal with this love shit.
How do you go from looking out for number one to including someone else in your every thought, your every decision?
Joshua is way ahead of me in the relationship stakes; he seems to have a better handle on the whole dynamics of it than I do.
One thing’s for sure, I can never be as cold as he proved he could be, guess I won’t be pissing him off to the extreme anytime soon again.
He’s been really good since this whole thing happened though, in ways I never thought he’d be, it’s fucked that it took this almost tragedy for me to see the heart of him, but I’m glad I did.
It makes it worth it; it makes all the craziness that I know will be part of our lives okay. With Joshua I know there will be rocky roads, he’s so.....volatile, and I’m so....me, there’s no way to avoid the bumps and bruises along the way, but I learned the most important thing for me.
He was there, when things got out of control, when I was at my worst, he never left me.
He’s always going to be an ass about certain things, he’s always going to be his bossy, Dom like self, and I think I need that.
I don’t need a daddy, not like that, but I do need someone strong and secure for all those times I’m not so strong and secure myself.
He was sweet and soft for like one day, that was nice too, but I need my over bearing crazy boy, that’s who I fell in love with, that’s who I want on my side.
I’m not quite sure what happened with Paula, don’t even know why she was even here, but I know Joshua would never let her near me, I’m pretty sure he’s been reading my journals, I’m glad someone else knows, it’s a weight off my shoulders, and I’m glad that it’s Joshua.
I don’t feel so young anymore, not so afraid, I hadn’t even known that I was afraid, and angry, and so hurt, she’d fucked up my life, made me almost as bitter as she is, but I’d almost destroyed the best thing to ever happen to me, on my own.
He says I was testing him, maybe I was, all I know is that everyone leaves, everyone disappoints, that’s what I’m used to, with Joshua I don’t feel like I have to worry about that anymore.
I know now that if I fall, he’ll catch me even though right now he’s working my nerves with this nasty ass steak and potatoes, what teenage girl eats this shit?
Those doctors don’t know what the hell they did letting him get his hands on my nutrition sheet, now he’s trying to rebuild my immune system in one day.
Mr. Know it all watches everything I put in my mouth, I wanted another burger but he won’t let me have one, and he’d threatened Matthew apparently, because although I was still pissed at him he would so sneak me another one, but no, Joshua decided steak was better and everyone else agreed.
Even Michael had stopped giving him kill rays and was now more often than not, whispering and conspiring with him when they thought I was asleep.
I hadn’t seen Patti thank God, I don’t think I could stomach looking at her hateful face right now, and if she was a part of ‘the family’ as Joshua claimed I was, I wasn’t too sure I wanted any part of it, hopefully I wouldn’t have to keep her in order to keep him, we’ll see.
Chapter 31
Josh
It’s her first day back to school and I’m like a father taking his toddler to day care for the first time, fucking gutted.
She looked unhappy as fuck and I hated doing this to her, but she had to get back into life.
She’d been home for a week and she’d gained back a little of the weight she’d lost, her doctors thought it was okay for her to go back and I agreed.