Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 138844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 694(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 463(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138844 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 694(@200wpm)___ 555(@250wpm)___ 463(@300wpm)
Both my grandmothers had reminded me that everything was going to be okay. Over and over, they’d tell me they were going to handle things. I’d move in with one of them. We’d grieve together. I’d stay in school, the one where I’d met KC. But for some reason, they’d neglected to tell me the hows. They hadn’t explained how things were going to work out, so I hadn’t dared believe. I mean, I’d been nearing eighteen, and I’d lost both my parents in a span of eight years. I raised a mental block that prevented me from putting too much weight on a single step. I needed a plan, a backup plan, and preferably two or three more. And money had been easy to fixate on. It’d become a goal—make as much money as possible. At least then, I wouldn’t have to rely on my grandmothers for anything.
I touched Cam’s cheek. “My career stopped being about money a long time ago. It’s sweet of KC to trace back certain behaviors to my childhood, but the truth of the matter is that my career was my main purpose in life before I met you. Before I fell for you, before I fell for KC and Noa, work was my steady companion, as sad as that is.”
I knew KC could relate. I knew he’d traveled a similar path. He’d buried himself in his work when his feelings toward Noa turned inappropriate—or what he deemed inappropriate. Meanwhile, KC and I had been blind to the affection we’d had for each other. Our boys had changed everything.
“Sad or not, it still explains a lot.” Cam shifted on my lap and rested his cheek on my shoulder. “Habits can be tough to break.”
Understatement of the year.
“And then when your age catches up to you…” I trailed off in a mutter. Another hard pill to swallow. I simply couldn’t keep up with the fresh blood on the market. I had experience and finesse and strategy; the younger advisers could work around the clock and possessed less dignity. They kissed ass, backstabbed, bribed, and still had the time to run ten miles before work.
When I kissed Cam’s forehead, I caught him smiling a little.
“A lot of people looked up to you there, though,” he murmured. “Aren’t you gonna miss that?”
“Oh, they didn’t look up to me, sweetheart.” I gave him another squeeze. “They saw my corner office and wondered how they could steal it from me.” Now they could have it. I didn’t care. “They sent lavish gifts not because I’d taught them something but because they wanted me to keep them in mind for a future client.”
Cam scrunched his nose. “That sounds nasty.”
Money could be a nasty business.
“Good thing I’m never going back.” And I meant it. Every damn word. I’d freed myself from that toxic hellhole.
He glanced at me with a fair amount of trepidation. “What’re you gonna do instead?” He stiffened briefly and turned away from me, and he sneezed. Again? Yes, again. Because last time had clearly not been a dream.
“Bless you. I hope you didn’t catch a bug from one of Greer’s ankle biters.” I reached for the tissue box on my nightstand and handed it to him. He smiled in thanks and blew his nose before he discarded the tissue on his side of the bed. “As for what I’m going to do now…I have no idea,” I replied honestly. “I’m not in a rush to figure it out either.”
That put a bigger smile on his face, and he slid off my lap and tugged me down with him. I was more than happy to follow, and soon, we were on our sides and sharing a pillow like we’d done countless times in the past.
He pulled the covers over us and snuggled closer.
“Part of me can’t believe you quit,” he admitted.
“Part of me can’t believe you’re here.” I kissed his nose.
He grinned a little. His eyes seemed…brighter and bluer. So fucking beautiful.
“I’m not leaving you again.” With those words, his smile faded and he looked away. “I shouldn’t have left in the first place.”
No, he wasn’t going there. I cupped his cheek and waited till he made eye contact again.
“You did the right thing, darling,” I murmured. “You—”
“I left you when you needed me the most!” His eyes welled up again, and I wouldn’t have it.
I was quick to correct him. “Except, you didn’t. You have the biggest heart, Cam. Why would you change what happened? As some form of self-punishment? You said it yourself—and so did KC—you left once you knew I wasn’t in any immediate danger.” I paused to make sure he was listening. I gripped his chin gently. “As much as it hurt to hear from Noa that you were with Greer and Archie, I needed to feel that, sweetheart. I needed to feel that risk of losing what’s most important to me. Because I never wanna feel that way again. I don’t want to hide behind a single excuse going forward, and it’ll do me good to have that fresh in my memory.”