Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75408 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75408 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 251(@300wpm)
“Nope, I eat my pizza with my hands.”
When Sutton grabbed the bottle of whiskey, I almost said something but then decided to let it go. Clearly, she needed it.
Except, we were only halfway through the first episode when I realized Sutton was getting hammered. Reaching for the bottle of whiskey when she wasn’t looking, I quietly put it on the floor next to the sofa.
Sutton finished off the last slice of pizza, then got up and went for the ice cream. When she walked back in with a bottle of wine and two glasses, I knew it was going to be a long night.
She set each glass down, then handed me the bottle. “Will you pour?” She giggled. “I think I might be a bit buzzed.”
“You think?”
She nodded and flopped back down on the sofa next to me. By the time the fourth episode started, she had her feet on my lap with her head against the armrest as she finished off the last of the wine.
“Um, Sutton, maybe you should let me make you a cup of coffee, or maybe drink some water?”
“What? No. I’m fine. Totally fine! As you can see…I can handle my alcohol.”
I frowned. “I’m not really seeing that side of you, sweetheart.”
She quickly sat up and put a hand to her heart. “I love it when you call me that. You haven’t called me that in a long time. Well, you did earlier when you got home, but I don’t think you realized it.”
“Sweetheart?”
Sutton closed her eyes and let out a contented sigh. “But the time before that when you said it, you were…” Her voice trailed off, and she opened her eyes once more. “Brody, can I ask you something?”
I started to rub her feet. “Of course, you can.”
She looked like she was debating what to say. Then she sighed. “Did you mean it when you said you didn’t love me? That night that we, um…”
“Made love?”
Her brows pulled down, and she scrunched up her nose. “Is that what we did?”
“It was for me.”
“That brings me back to my question. Did you mean it when you said you didn’t love me?”
My heart jumped into my throat. “I would really rather have this conversation when you’re not drunk.”
She gave me a weak smile. “I’m not drunk enough that I won’t remember. I can hold my alcohol, remember?”
I grinned. “I remember.”
“Then tell me again when I’m sober, but tell me now too.”
I reached for her hand and laced our fingers together. “No, Sutton. I didn’t mean it at all.”
Tears built in her eyes, and I leaned forward and cupped the side of her face. “Don’t cry, Sutton.”
“Why did you say it if you didn’t mean it? I would have waited for you.”
“That’s why. I didn’t want you to wait. I wanted you to live your life. Sutton, you were heading off to college. The last thing I ever wanted was for you to sit around and wait for me. It was never even certain that I’d come back home in one piece. I had a dangerous job in the Navy. I don’t even know how many times I was shot at.”
She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth. “What? You were serious when you said you were shot and stabbed?”
I ran my thumb over her cheek. “Yes, I was serious. And that night, with you…I was scared, Sutton.”
“Of what?” she asked—then hiccupped.
I chuckled slightly before focusing on her again. “Of my feelings for you. I knew I loved you before we slept together. But after being with you…I’d never felt that way before, and it scared me. That was part of why I told you that lie. The other part was because I didn’t think I was good enough for you. And I wanted you to live your life. Have fun in college. I never really thought you’d go back to Jack.”
Closing her eyes, Sutton drew in a long breath and then let it out. I nearly coughed at the strength of the alcohol on her breath.
“I wasted all those years with him when what I really wanted was you.”
My heart slammed against my chest. It killed me that I’d caused her pain. I pulled her onto my lap and held her. “I hate that I was the cause of any pain you might have suffered, Sutton. I’m so sorry.”
She rested her head against my chest. “Do you know how many nights I’ve laid in bed and thought about that night we shared?”
“I have, too, Sutton.” I lazily rubbed my hand up and down her back. “I can only hope that someday you’ll forgive me.”
Drawing her head back, Sutton’s hazy eyes met mine. “Forgive you?”
I nodded.
“Brody, even knowing the outcome, I would give myself to you over and over again.”
A lump formed in my throat, and I tried to swallow it away.