Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 87921 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87921 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)
“You’re smiling, Jackson. What’s that smile about?” Steph teases.
“I’m not smiling,” I reply which is fucking ridiculous because they saw it and once Steph mentioned it, I felt it.
“Did you take my advice, Dad?” Zane asks, then makes a circle with one hand and with his other, pushes a finger in and out of it.
“Zane!” Steph smacks his leg but smiles.
“What? I’m just being real. You guys aren’t getting any younger. Dad needs to find himself a woman before it’s too late.” Zane winks at me.
“Ha ha. You’re so funny,” I tease but then think how this could be the perfect moment to mention Derek. That I’m seeing a man, or at least make Zane aware it’s a possibility. Steph knows. Steph has always known, which is why she looks at me over her water glass while taking a drink and cocks a brow at me.
And she’s right. I have zero shame about being bisexual. Zane is a good kid, and we’ve raised him right. Sure, it might take some getting used to but he’ll be okay.
“Oh, so I was talking to Paul the other day,” Zane starts before I have the chance to really consider telling him. He launches into a story about his best friend and college, and Steph and I just sit back and listen to him. Feel pride that he will have so many of the things we didn’t. They bring our dinner, and we all eat.
Once we’re finished, Zane excuses himself to the bathroom, and the second he’s gone, Steph says, “You’re seeing someone.”
I don’t ask her how she knows. We know each other too well for her not to. “Yes. But it’s not serious.” We’d both agreed from the beginning it wouldn’t be but somehow the words taste wrong on my tongue.
“Please. I know you too well for that. If it wasn’t serious, you wouldn’t have said you were dating someone. Fucking them, yes. Dating them, no. Is it a man?” she asks.
“Yes.”
“Good for you. Do you enjoy giving head as much as I do? I met this man the other night…” Her eyes roll back, and she smiles.
“Fuck yes,” I reply and then, “Oh Jesus Christ. We’re weird.” Who talks to their ex-wife like this?
“We’re lucky.”
Yes, yes, we are.
“Tell me you know Zane won’t care. He’ll be surprised, yes, but he won’t care. He’ll just want you to be happy the same way I do. You deserve to be happy, Jackson.”
“Thank you. So do you.” I sigh and lean back in the booth. “He’s…not what you’d expect.”
“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Nothing else matters. Are you happy?”
I think about Derek…the way he flips his bangs out of his face and the blue of his eyes. The way he makes me laugh and looks at me with a vulnerability I’m not sure I deserve and that I know he doesn’t give to anyone else. That tight little ass of his and the way he feels around my cock. “Yes.”
“Nothing else matters,” she says again.
When Zane gets back to the table, we pay our bill and they drive me back home. We say our good-byes and Zane and I make plans for him to come stay for a few days soon.
As I shower and get ready for tonight, Steph’s words play over and over in my brain.
It’s not long before I’m standing at Derek’s door and he’s pulling it open, looking sexy as fuck in jeans and a pink short-sleeved button-up shirt so tight against his body that I don’t have to use my imagination to recall what he looks like underneath. That’s how I prefer it anyway. Hell, if it was up to me, he’d never wear any clothes when it’s just the two of us. Although I’m confident that’s the way he’d prefer it too.
Maybe it really can be as easy as Steph says. Right now, I just know I want to live in these moments with Derek, in this life that feels like it’s mine for the first time.
“Come on, boy. Let’s go out.”
26
Derek
I’m a lot of things, but totally unaware of my feelings isn’t one of them.
I like Jackson…a whole fucking lot, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I’ve enjoyed what we’ve shared the past few weeks, and it’s been even better because there hasn’t been any pressure to define what’s going on or making it a bigger deal than it is. The pace we’re moving at feels right for us, even though it’s not the sort of thing I’m used to.
I don’t let people in. I keep them at arm’s length, even my friends, but I feel safe sharing things with Jackson…just like I feel safe when he holds me. It’s not the sort of cuddling I’ve gotten used to over the past few years—the kind where it’s just two bodies filling empty space. His hold makes me feel like he actually cares about me, and regardless of where this is heading, I know that much is true…and that I want him in my life.