Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 74643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 74643 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 373(@200wpm)___ 299(@250wpm)___ 249(@300wpm)
He's right. Sebastian King really does offer good advice. I need to face my fears. I don't know why I didn't think of it before. The idea is scary, sure, but I can't just move on and tell myself it's done.
I can be brave. And that guy from my past, well he doesn't deserve another second of my time.
And thinking of Sebastian's perspective on the alpha male situation, well, that comforts me somehow.
Lily is dealing with one dominant man. I'm dealing with three. The odds are against me unless I can figure out how to deal with that energy.
"Nicole," Lily asks. "Can I ask you a very personal question? How do you feel about submitting?"
I think for a minute about what she said. Submission has been the main thing that I've been running from. I used to think that submitting to them meant I was weak, and I think I mistook vulnerability for fragility. But I'm strong.
And the idea of submission actually excites me.
"I have to admit that I find it truly comforting to submit," I say.
It's hard to believe I've just said it out loud. The words make it more real. Submitting makes me feel good—so why am I resisting it so badly?
Lily and Sebastian exchanged knowing glances, before Lily says, "Then maybe that's what you need."
Her revelation hits home, and I feel like I've finally found my answer. I've been running from and trying to escape this thing that I ultimately really want.
Maybe because it's new territory, or maybe because this is really real… I don’t know, but whatever the reason, I've been running like crazy from something I actually really desire.
"Oh my God, Lily, you're right," I say as the truth begins to hit me. "Now I just have to find a way to fix my life."
She, Sebastian, and I laugh because we all know that it's going to be no easy feat.
Nicole
I take a cab home from uptown. I feel truly grateful to have friends like Lily and now Sebastian. His wise words honestly affected me, so much that they shook me into a new reality.
Getting to know Sebastian and seeing the heartfelt way he wanted to help me, well, it makes for a great political candidate. I get more impressed with him every day, and that makes me so glad for Lily. And in the back of my mind, I guess I'm thinking about the guys and how they'll be so successful representing Mr. King.
And I know Lily understands where I'm coming from, since she was once in my same position. It's a big thing for an independent woman to admit to herself that submission feels good. I guess this is a hurdle I've crossed, but it still doesn't mean I've won back the guys.
I wait patiently for the cab to arrive at my place, all the while aching for a long, hot bath to take away the pain. It's been that kind of the day.
At last, he pulls up to my building, and I get out, feeling ready for the comforts of home. I can't fix my life at this moment but I can at least fix my makeup.
I climb the stairs to my door, but pause in astonishment when I see my three guys waiting. There's Adam, Chase, and Cameron all sitting at my doorstep, waiting for me to come home.
My heart skips a beat. I didn't think this was fixable, but with their presence here, they're telling me that it is.
"Oh my gosh, you guys," I say. "I'm so glad you're here. I've been crying all day. I thought I lost you forever."
They embrace me right there in the hall and whisper sweet nothings into my ear, as if to tame the awful day I just had. How are they comforting me when I was so horrible to them?
I open the door to my little studio apartment and pull them right in.
"You guys, I'm so sorry. I realize now that I've been running from you this entire time. I've been running from what I most want. I had an awful reaction to your generous offer, and I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me and that we can start over."
Cameron says, "Nicole, it's us who are here to apologize. We pushed you too far too fast. And I'm sorry for that. We all are."
"Yes," Chase says. "We love you, Nicole. And we need you."
"And we're willing to wait for however long it takes," Adam says.
I look at them with a shocked expression. "Wait a minute, you love me? You just said the word love."
They come to my side and embrace me all at once.
"Of course we love you," Cameron says. "How could you not know that?"
It's time to tell the truth, "I love you too. I love all of you in different ways, but I need each one of you."