Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97339 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97339 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 487(@200wpm)___ 389(@250wpm)___ 324(@300wpm)
Brianna focuses those deadly green eyes on her bare thighs, and I watch in agony as a perfectly round tear falls down her cheek and splashes against her creamy thigh. “Why are you doing this?” she whispers, her voice breaking with undeniable pain.
Fuck. I haven’t even said a word and this is already killing me.
“Babe,” I breathe, my heart on my sleeve. My eyes close as the pain becomes impossible to bear, and the words don’t seem to come, so we sit in an excruciating silence, neither of us knowing where to go from here.
I feel her waiting for me to tell her she’s wrong, but the longer she waits, the clearer it all becomes. Her tears start to fall as I lean forward in my chair with my head in my hands, trying my hardest not to crumble.
Bri moves her head ever so slightly, and I know she’s ready to talk. She takes a deep breath, and I lift my head to meet her eyes, watching as she wipes her tears. “Am I . . . Am I just not enough for you?” she questions.
Fuck. How could she ever think that?
Her self-doubt has me throwing myself out of my chair and crumbling to my knees at her feet. I grab hold of her warm hands, looking up into those sweet green eyes that have completely captured my soul. “Don’t say that,” I demand, my desperation clear in my broken tone. “Fuck, Brianna. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and more. I fucking love you so goddamn much.”
“Then . . . I don’t understand,” she says, her tears staining her rosy cheeks. “Why are you doing this to us? We’re perfect together. You and me. I love you, Carter. I want to be with you.”
“Please, don’t cry,” I tell her, pulling her off the edge of the bed until she drops right into my lap, her arms and legs circling me as she holds onto me with everything she has, but the moment she buries her face into my neck and I feel her wet tears against my skin, I fucking break.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, my hand in the back of her hair, holding her to me, too fucking terrified to let her go. “Please believe me when I tell you this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
“Then don’t do it,” she begs. “Don’t ruin us.”
I shake my head, my heart racing as I struggle to catch my breath. “I can’t give you what you need,” I murmur.
“You can,” she says. “Don’t you get it? You’re everything I need. You’re my whole fucking world, Carter. Please, I love you.”
I run my hands down her hair, attempting to soothe her, but it’s a lost cause. Rip it off like a Band-Aid, I remind myself. Don’t drag this shit out. You’re only making it worse for her.
“No, babe. I’m not even close to what you need,” I tell her, those very words spoken out loud blacken my shattered heart. She lifts her head from my neck, meeting my broken stare with one of her own. “You want the big white wedding. You want to walk down the aisle and say your vows in front of all of your friends and family. You want to spend nine months nursing your pregnant belly and living in bliss until the day you give birth and finally get to raise a family of your own. You want it all, Bri, and in ten years when you’re getting older and you’re still not pregnant and are still waiting for me to put a ring on your finger, you’re going to resent me.”
“What are you saying?” she asks, her bottom lip wobbling. “You don’t want to marry me?”
“No, Bri, but it’s not because I don’t love you. If I could choose anyone in this world to spend the rest of my life with, it would be you. I’d choose you every fucking time. It’s just that marriage is not something I’ve ever envisioned for myself,” I explain. “I’m content with it being just you and me, living the way we are. I thought you knew this.”
“I did,” she says, wiping her eyes on my shirt. “But I thought you were just being an idiot and that would change when you found the right girl. I thought you’d grow up and be ready to settle down, and I had hoped that maybe I would have been enough for you to want those things.”
“Fuck, Brianna. You are my everything. You’re the love of my fucking life, but I can’t give you everything you need.”
“I can try,” she pleads, the tears falling more ferociously. “I can . . . I don’t know. Maybe I don’t need the big white wedding. If it’s a choice between you and marriage, then I’d pick you every fucking time. We can work around this. It doesn’t have to be over.”