Total pages in book: 197
Estimated words: 199143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 996(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 199143 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 996(@200wpm)___ 797(@250wpm)___ 664(@300wpm)
Of course.
That was just so very Les.
“And I did talk to people,” Alessio muttered. “Too many people. Cree said shit was normal—Dare told me I was being ridiculous. He’s like a goddamn emotionless rock anyway, so the whole conversation just went to total shit. Fucking shocker.”
A chuckle escaped him.
He couldn’t help it.
Les grinned at the sound.
Corrado didn’t think to ask what those doubts were that Les was feeling—maybe his worth as a father when he’d not really had one; maybe something else entirely. Who was Corrado to say?
Things like this were complicated.
Trauma stayed close to the surface.
God knew Les had a lot of trauma surrounding things like family, parents, abandonment, self-worth, and even love. As sad as it fucking was. It still was. Corrado would spend the rest of his life making sure he never added to Les’s trauma for those things.
He’d already done enough.
“Your father told me it would be great,” Les added quieter.
Corrado’s shoulder found the doorjamb while he leaned there, replying, “And what do you think?”
“I think they’re all right.”
“Does the rest matter, then?” he asked.
Did it ever?
“I’m terrified, Corrado.”
He nodded in the doorway.
“Me, too, Les.”
“It’s slightly less terrifying with you and her, though.”
“Good to know.”
He wouldn’t soon forget it.
John | Siena
The Therapist
“Siena is pregnant,” John blurted out.
Leonard’s next step hesitated, but like with anything John threw at his therapist—even after all these years of them chatting together—he kept on going. He rolled with John’s punches no matter what the situation called for. He was good that way.
John didn’t know what he was going to do when Leonard retired—officially, anyway.
“Well, congratulations are in order, then,” Leonard said, giving John a smile.
“Is it?”
Leonard peered up at the bright sky overhead. “Are you not happy about the pregnancy?”
“Very happy.”
“Was it planned?”
“Not particularly.”
Leonard chuckled. “Ah, I see.”
“What?”
“After all these years, and you still ask me what, John? Really?”
“Habit, I guess.”
“Mmhmm.”
His therapist knew him too damn well, really. It wasn’t so much a problem for John as it was ... well, he couldn’t fucking hide anything or pretend when it came to Leonard. He had seen John through some of his toughest cycles in his life, and pulled him out of the hell that was depression, mania, and more.
Yeah.
What would he do without this man helping him?
Supporting him?
“It’s not the baby that frightens me,” John admitted. “It’s everything else around the baby.”
“The change.”
“Yeah.”
“The inevitable,” Leonard continued.
“Exactly.”
Leonard kept walking, and John kept an easy stride beside his therapist. The sky was bright and blue with not a cloud in sight, and the smell of someone’s barbeque clung in the air as they walked the block. It wasn’t often they walked during a session, but it really just depended on certain factors, too.
The weather.
His mood.
Leonard’s restless legs.
Whatever.
John also suspected his therapist didn’t like to allow him to get too comfortable in any one routine with him. Everything else in his life was so carefully planned and structured as to not worsen his mood swings that even his twice weekly—or more, if it was needed—therapy could sometimes become just another thing John did.
Not something he wanted to do.
Leonard changed it up, and kept it new. A coffee shop this week, and the couch at his father’s place the next. A walk around the block today, and on Friday they were supposed to take Andino’s kid to the park for their chat.
It was always something new.
He didn’t mind.
“Are you going to give me some mind-blowing advice that takes all my anxiety about this away, or what?” John asked. “I could really use it right about now, and Siena might appreciate me being a tad less ...”
“Snappy?”
“I was going to say touchy.”
Leonard scoffed. “I know how you behave when you get anxious.”
“Yeah, yeah. Advice, or what?”
“I don’t have anything, actually,” Leonard replied, sighing. “Nothing that’s going to make you do a complete three-sixty and look at this in a whole new way with a different perspective. That’s not how this works, John.”
“And what is this?”
Leonard shrugged. “Becoming a father, I suppose.”
“Oh.”
That was not the answer he expected to get, and by the look on his therapist’s face, he suspected Leonard knew that as well. They walked in silence for a bit longer before John had finally come up with something else to say.
Dumb as it was.
“Why not?”
“Because, John, this is fucking terrifying,” Leonard said.
John was the one to miss a step, then, shocked out of his mind that Leonard had actually swore. He was pretty sure he could count on one hand the amount of times he heard a cuss leave the man’s lips, and it wasn’t very damn often.
Leonard continued on like John hadn’t missed a step, and nothing had happened. “Becoming a parent isn’t something anyone can prepare for, really. Oh, sure, you can read those stupid books—you can learn the mechanics of this whole deal, but ... it’s not the same.”