Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
I close my eyes as her betrayal washes over me.
It’s cold, bitter, and it hurts like hell.
One month later: September
I sit at the bar and stare at the screen on the wall.
I’m in a dark place.
Twenty-nine days without her. Twenty-nine days in a cage of living hell.
I miss her.
I miss who I am when she’s beside me.
Happiness.
The elusive emotion.
I’m angry that my life has turned out the way it has.
I’m not talking to Robert for purposely hurting Eliza. I’m not talking to Eliza for purposely hurting me.
I’ve never felt so alone and I don’t know how to pull myself out of this.
I know I need to. This can’t go on. Every day, I tell myself that this is the last day I will let myself feel like this, and yet, every day I wake up and do it again.
I exhale heavily as the noise from the bar bustles around me. I’m lost in my pity party for one.
“Hi there,” a voice from behind me says.
I turn to see a man standing there. “Hi.”
He gestures to the stool beside me. “Mind if I take a seat?”
I shrug. “Sure.”
He sits down and orders a drink. “I’m Anthony.”
“Hi.” I raise my eyebrows as I stare straight ahead.
Fuck off, Anthony. I am not in the mood to talk shit tonight.
The bartender puts Anthony’s drink down in front of him, and he takes a sip. “Do you have a name?”
“Nathan.” I turn my attention to him.
He smiles as he sips his drink as his eyes linger on my face. He has dark hair and an athletic physique.
“Are you always so rude?” he asks me.
I exhale heavily. “Apologies. I’ve just had the worst month of my life. Not really in the mood for talking.”
“That makes two of us.”
I nod and continue to stare straight ahead. “Well, you seem to be talking just fine.” I sigh.
He chuckles. “I could talk underwater. What happened to you?” He lifts his scotch to his lips.
“Girlfriend left me.” I glance over at him. “You?”
“Boyfriend left me.”
I nod, and we both exhale heavily as we get lost in our own thoughts.
“So, if you’re not in the mood for talking, why did you come out?” he asks.
I shrug. “Trying to drag myself out of this hole. I’m sick of being home alone. You?”
“Same.” He smiles over at me. “I guess I was looking for someone to take my mind off my problems.”
His eyes hold mine, and the air buzzes between us.
He puts his hand on my thigh and slides it up my leg. “I was hoping to run into someone like you,” he whispers.
“Is that so?”
“Do you want to go back to my place?” He shrugs. “We can… talk… in private.”
My eyebrow rises. “Naked?” I ask.
“That’s what I was hoping for.”
We stare at each other as the air between us swirls with something dark and familiar.
The chance to not feel—to block everything out.
A reprieve from reality.
I drain my drink and slam it down on the bar. “Let’s go.”
Eliza
October
“Eliza, go home.” Miranda, my boss, smiles. “You have three whole days off. What are you going to do?”
“Nothing much. Go to the gym, walk in Central Park, food shopping. Same stuff, different week.”
Miranda laughs. “Well, enjoy the sunshine. The weather is supposed to be beautiful this week.”
“Thanks.” I grab my bag from my locker. “See you on Friday.”
I walk up the hall toward the elevator. I love this job. I love this hospital. I feel really at home here. This is my tenth week in New York. I’ve made a few friends from the gym and I’m trying to keep myself busy.
I had no idea what I was signing myself up for when I moved across the country. Thinking back, it was so incredibly brave… or just plain stupid.
Either way, my plan didn’t work.
I haven’t heard from Nathan since the day I told him I was thinking about leaving.
So much for giving him space to sort his feelings out. I really thought we were more than this.
I exhale heavily and make my way out into the bus bay. I cross my arms and wrap my jacket around me. It’s dark and cold. Every day, it’s like I play this little game with myself. How long can I act happy before I crack and have a complete meltdown?
Tears threaten, constantly. It just takes one thing to trigger a memory, one song, the tiniest little thing, and I’m back in Heartbreak Hell, as if it just happened.
It’s hard to pretend that the love of my life hasn’t ripped my fucking heart out.
I’m losing hope. I thought it would take Nathan two weeks, at the most, to miss me.
I guess not.
The bus pulls up, and I climb on and show the driver my pass. I take a seat by the window and stare as the scenery goes rushing by.