Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
“If things don’t get better, you should move into your own place for a while. Then, date again. Get some space from each other. Remember why you’re in love.”
I chew as I listen. “You think?”
“I know. Everyone has issues when they first move in with a partner. There’s no such thing as a smooth transition, but add in the long-term friendship to the mix and it would be a nightmare. You already know each other so well, there would be no boundaries.”
That makes so much sense. “So true.”
And that’s not the half of it, I think to myself. Throw in sexuality questions, an ex, and an unplanned pregnancy… fuck, it’s no wonder we’re fighting all the time. “I guess.” I smile.
“Can I ask you something?” He says as he wipes his mouth with his napkin.
“Yeah.”
“If you had met me in a different circumstance and you weren’t with the guard dog…”
I smirk, already knowing what he’s going to say.
“Would you have gone out with me?”
I dig through my food with my chopsticks. “Yeah.” I smile. “I would have. You’re cute in a weird kind of way.”
His eyes hold mine. “Well, fuck.” He raises his glass and takes a sip. “Here’s to the worst timing ever.”
I giggle. I really do like Henry, and I know I need to be honest. “I have a confession.”
“You’re going to leave him for me?” he teases with a wink.
I laugh. “No… but I am maybe leaving work.”
His face falls. “Oh no, why?”
“I’m just not loving it. I’m sorry.”
“Is it something I can fix?”
“I’m missing nursing, the buzz of the hospital, and I haven’t decided anything yet, but I just wanted you to know in case I do decide.”
He smiles sadly. “Well, that blows but I completely understand. Thanks for being honest.”
We eat in silence for a while.
“What are you going to do about the boyfriend?”
“I don’t know.” I sigh. “Hopefully, work it out.” I sip my drink. “Your idea about space from each other makes a lot of sense.”
“You never know. It may very well work.”
I smile, grateful for the chat. “Thanks, Henry.” I wish I could blurt out all my issues, but I can’t.
These are mine and Nathan’s problems, and only we can fix them.
And we will…
I hope.
* * *
I sit at the dining table and listen to the clock ticking on the wall. I haven’t had the guts to do the pregnancy test alone. Nathan will be home soon. I texted him an hour and a half ago, and he said he had just finished surgery and would be home about now.
I never thought I’d see the day where waiting for Nathan made me nervous. But he’s acting different. He isn’t texting me. He isn’t looking after me. He isn’t being my Nathan.
I frown at the notion. Was he ever my Nathan, or was he just on loan?
We need to talk. God, we need to talk, and I know he’s still angry about what Jolie said to him the other night, but he’s locked me out.
He’s cold and detached.
He told me that he doesn’t want Robert, that he loves me and that he wants a future with me…. but actions speak louder than words.
I keep hearing his voice as it cracked last night. He was so hurt by Robert’s admission of love.
And if he didn’t feel the same, it wouldn’t have affected him the way it did.
I have this sinking feeling, and as much as I hate to admit it but I don’t know if he would still be here if the pregnancy wasn’t hanging over us. I close my eyes, it’s too painful to comprehend.
I’m dreading being pregnant… but I’m dreading not being pregnant more.
If I’m pregnant, he’s trapped. If I’m not,…. he’s free to go… to him.
My eyes well with tears at the thought.
I feel sick to my stomach and have thrown up twice.
I get a vision of him and Robert living happily ever after, and me, alone and brokenhearted.
Ten years. Ten years of love and friendship. It’s a lot to lose.
I angrily wipe my tears away. Stop being so negative. It’s going to be fine.
He loves me—I know he loves me—but, deep down, I know he loves Robert, too. I put my head into my hands in sadness.
It isn’t supposed to be like this. I’m thirty-one years old and I feel like an insecure teenager, scared that my douche of a boyfriend wants somebody else.
But then the sad reality sets in. My boyfriend isn’t a douchebag. He’s a beautiful man who I am deeply in love with.
Is his heart aching for someone else?
My chest constricts, how would I recover from this…if… .
The key turns in the door, and my heart somersaults in my chest. Nathan comes into view and gives me a lopsided smile. “Hi.”
“Hi.” I stand and go to him. He kisses me on the cheek before he brushes past me.