Total pages in book: 163
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164828 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 824(@200wpm)___ 659(@250wpm)___ 549(@300wpm)
I stare at him, my mind a clusterfuck of confusion. His body, work with a woman.
“What does that mean?” I frown.
“I wanted to see what would happen with a woman.”
“And?”
He clenches his lips together as if not wanting to elaborate.
“Nathan?” My blood begins to boil.
“I saw her,” he says quickly. “But she has nothing to do with us.” He reaches for me, and I pull away.
He went to her?
He likes me but he went to her?
That green-eyed monster appears again. “And did your body work with hers, Nathan?”
“That’s the only fucking thing you heard in that sentence?”
“Did you have sex with Stephanie or not?”
“I’m not discussing Stephanie with you.”
“So, you did?” I shriek.
He glares at me.
Something inside of me snaps. “You’re an asshole,” I whisper angrily. “You say you’ve had feelings for me for months, yet you go and sleep with another woman the before you tell me?” My eyes well with tears. “How could you?”
Blind betrayal is all I see.
“I didn’t have sex with her.”
“But you touched her?”
“See, you do have feelings for me, too?” He says hopefully. “You wouldn’t care if you didn’t.” He smiles. “This is good. This is progress.”
“Did you touch her?” I sneer. “And so, help me god, don’t you dare lie to me.”
“No.”
“Did she touch you?”
“Eliza!” he snaps. “Just drop the fucking Stephanie thing, okay? It means nothing.”
“Did. She. Touch. You. Or. Not?”
He puts his hands on his hips and drops his head.
Anger boils, and the need for more information takes me over. “What, did she kiss you?”
He rolls his eyes. “This is supposed to be a special conversation between us. Momentous, even. You are completely wrecking it.”
“Did she give you a hand job?”
He glares at me.
“Did she suck you off?”
“Enough!” he barks, betraying his guilt.
Horror dawns, and I step back and stare at him…what the hell? “Let me get this straight,” I say softly. “What you’re telling me is that you have feelings for me?”
“Yes.” He smiles hopefully. “I do.”
“And how long have you felt like this?”
“A long time. It feels like forever.” He takes my hands in his. “You’re everything to me, and I want to make a go of it. Tell me you feel the same.”
“Did you blow in her mouth?” I ask flatly.
“Eliza, for fuck’s sake. Drop it. This is about you and me.”
That means yes.
My anger explodes. “So, you went to another woman when you claim to care for me, and you ejaculated down her throat?” I cry. “How did it feel? Did you blow hard? How was her face, Nathan, when she was drinking you down? Were you thinking about me then, huh?” I scream as I completely lose control.
He glares at me.
I picture her on her knees in front of him and him looking down at her. Disgust fills me.
“You know what? Just get out.”
I go to the window and turn my back on him. Hurt runs through my veins.
“If this is your other side, Nathan, then I don’t want to know him.”
Silence hangs between us.
“I said, get out,” I repeat.
“Eliza.”
I turn on him. “If you cared for me like you say you do, you would never want to touch someone else,” I cry. “And you most definitely wouldn’t want your dick in someone else’s mouth.”
“Eliza.” He pauses as he tries to articulate himself properly. “I had to find out.”
I throw up my hands. “And now you know.”
I storm into the kitchen. I need to get away from him. What a self-absorbed asshole.
If he had feelings for me, he wouldn’t have gone to her. What am I? A new challenge in his midlife crisis?
He follows me. “Eliza,” he says quietly. “I know you don’t understand my reasoning but I did it to protect our friendship. I wanted to be sure.”
He gave his first female sexual experience to another woman.
I stare at a spot on the carpet. I’m so disappointed, I can’t even look at him. My broken heartbeat pounds in my ears.
“Can we talk about this?” he asks.
“Just go, Nathe,” I whisper.
He eventually goes to the door and hesitates.
I close my eyes.
“Eliza,” he says.
I turn toward him.
“If you didn’t like me that way, too, it wouldn’t bother you that I was with her.”
We stare at each other for an extended time.
He drops his head and walks out, closing the door behind him.
My eyes well with tears.
Asshole.
* * *
I watch the clock tick over to 3:13 a.m.
It’s dark and still, yet inside my head it’s so noisy that I can’t sleep. That, and the small fact that my sleeping partner isn’t here.
I hate that I can’t sleep without him.
My mind goes over tonight and everything that came to light. So much to process. Nathan says he has feelings for me…. I smile softly, imagine that.
But he went to Stephanie for physical confirmation, so he can’t care about me too much. His mind definitely wasn’t on me when his dick was in her mouth. The fact that he came only adds salt to my wounds.