Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 461(@200wpm)___ 369(@250wpm)___ 307(@300wpm)
“Oh my God,” Nate whispered. “I think it worked. She’s asleep.”
“Great job, Bing Crosby. Where is she going to sleep tonight?”
“I put that bedside sleeper thing upstairs in my room. Should I try to put her in there?”
“Sure, why not?”
He nodded. “Come with me. She’s better when you’re there. I’m better when you’re there.”
“It’s not me,” I told him, getting off the couch, although secretly I was pleased he’d said it. “I made a wish at 1:11 that she would fall asleep fast tonight.”
He glanced at me over his shoulder as we went up the stairs. “You mean it wasn’t my awesome Christmas song?”
I stifled a giggle. “Maybe it was both.”
At the top of the stairs, I scooted ahead of him to turn off the lamp in his bedroom. With the same slow, careful movement he had used carrying the car seat upstairs last night, he leaned over the sleeper and gently laid the sleeping baby inside it. For ten seconds, neither of us moved.
She stayed asleep.
Ten more seconds went by.
She stayed asleep.
Nate grabbed my hand in the dark, setting off a pounding inside my chest I thought might wake the baby. We exchanged a look of triumph in the silent dark, and Nate kept my hand in his as he led me down the stairs. He let it go at the bottom.
“Oh my God, the silence is like a fucking miracle,” he said quietly, going over to the monitor on the coffee table and switching it on. “No wonder I never wanted kids. It’s exhausting, my apartment is a mess, and I’m not any good at it.”
“Stop it,” I told him, starting to gather up all the bottles strewn around the living room. “You are good at it, and you’re getting better. She’s very lucky to have you as her dad.”
“Well, we make a good team.”
“We do.” I bent down to pick up a burp cloth from the floor. “Although we had our first fight last night.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Did we? Yeah, I guess we did.”
“It’s bound to happen when two people feel like they can be really honest with each other. I think that’s the sign of a solid friendship.”
He didn’t say anything else as he grabbed his coffee mug and the box of chips and followed me into the kitchen. It was dark in there, so I switched on the light above the sink and started scrubbing bottles. “You don’t have to do that,” he told me. “You worked all day, you were up half the night. You must be tired. Go home and sleep.”
I was tired. And given my growing attraction to him, and the late hour, and the low light in the kitchen, I thought maybe it would be better if I left. “You sure?”
“I’m sure. You’ve done more than enough.” He came over to put his mug in the sink, turned around and leaned back against it. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
“Why would I think that?” I turned off the water and dried my hands.
He shrugged. “Saying I’d keep her for a month was kind of a dumbass move.”
“Are you having second thoughts?”
“Fuck yes, I am.”
I looked up at him.
“But I’m not a guy who doesn’t keep promises. When I say something, I mean it.”
I spoke before I could think. “So did you mean what you said last night? About me?”
He grimaced, his eyes closing briefly. “I’m sorry about that. I shouldn’t have said it.”
“But you think it, right? That I’m a little girl living in a fantasy world?”
“No.” He put a hand on my shoulder. “I think you’re an optimist. I think you see good in people they don’t even see themselves. You build people up—especially me.”
“You?” I laughed a little. “You don’t need me to build you up.”
“Hell yes, I do. You think I’d have been able to handle this whole fatherhood bombshell if you hadn’t been here? If you’d said, ‘That’s what you get for fucking around, asshole. Good luck.’”
I shook my head, a strand of hair coming loose from my bun. “I’d never have done that.”
“I know.” He tucked the strand behind my ear and moved his hand to the back of my neck. His eyes dropped to my lips. “But I would have deserved it.”
I held my breath. Things seemed to be happening in slow motion. His forehead came to rest on mine. And then our noses touched. Our eyes closed. An eternity passed, his lips a whisper from mine. Either one of us could have initiated a kiss. A slight lift of my chin. A little drop of his head. The question—will we or won’t we?—hung there between us, even as his closed lips brushed mine, eyelash soft.
I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around his neck and fit my body flush against his, but my wrists lay inert on the edge of the sink. Suddenly he spoke, his breath warm against my mouth.