Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 89265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“He’s not scared of anything,” I said. “And it doesn’t matter what he really feels. He walked away. I have to let him go.”
I went right upstairs when we got home, leaving Emme to explain to Grams that I wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to be disturbed. Grams wasn’t an idiot and would probably guess what was going on, but I couldn’t worry about that. And maybe she’d be asleep anyway. It was almost ten o’clock.
Inside my bedroom, I threw myself facedown on the bed and sobbed into my pillow. I felt sad and stupid and sorry and hurt and confused. I wanted to know why he’d led me on like that—if he just wanted the sex, he could have said so.
And despite what I’d said to Emme, it did matter to me what his real feelings were. I wanted to know if he’d been lying to me last night, or lying to me tonight. I knew how easily he could switch his feelings on and off—I’d seen it with my own eyes—but what was really in his heart?
I curled into a ball, hugging my stomach as I cried.
Emme came in a little later, quietly shutting the door behind her. By that point, I was pretty much cried out.
“Can you hand me a tissue?” I asked.
“Of course, dear.”
I sat up to see Grams, not my sister, reach over to the tissue box on the nightstand and pluck one out for me. “Oh! I thought you were Emme.”
“I asked Emme if I might come up and chat with you a bit.” Grams handed me the tissue. “She went to bed.”
“Thanks.” I blew my nose and reached for another tissue. Grams stood patiently at the side of the bed, dressed in her nightgown and robe. Her slippers peeked out from beneath the hem, and she had her hair in pin curls, wrapped in a giant hairnet. My sisters and I had always laughed at Grams in her nightclothes and hairnet. Even now, I couldn’t help smiling a little.
“I know you’re laughing at me,” Grams said with her nose in the air, “but I don’t mind, as long as it puts a smile on your face.”
“Want to sit down?”
“Thank you, dear.” She lowered herself to the edge of the bed. “I hope you don’t mind, but Emme filled me in a little.”
I shrugged.
“I’m sorry things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to—I mean, the way you wanted them to.”
“Me too.”
“Can’t say we didn’t try, right?”
“Right.”
She moved closer and put her arm around me. She smelled like she always did—like gardenias. “You know, Gramps was a lot like Mr. Woods.”
I sniffed. “No, he wasn’t. Gramps was outgoing and charming and talkative. Always in a good mood. Always joking.”
Grams laughed. “Well, that was later, dear. When I first knew him, when he was young, he was sort of gruff and quiet. I used to try to get him to talk all the time, and he’d get so frustrated. He broke up with me constantly.”
“He did? But I thought you two were always so happy.”
“Oh, we were! He never could stay away, and I knew it. So when he’d break it off, I’d say ‘okay’ and hop out of his car like it didn’t matter to me at all. He’d show up on my doorstep soon enough with his tail between his legs. I just had to be patient.”
“Ryan doesn’t feel that way about me, like he can’t stay away.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Grams said with a shrug. “If I was a betting man, I’d say he does, but he also seems stubborn as the day is long.”
I nodded. “He is.”
“And he’s hurting right now. Emme told me about his friend.”
“I didn’t know about that,” I said helplessly, “or I wouldn’t have accosted him like I did.”
“Well, he’s proud. Probably didn’t want you to see him upset. But military men take it hard when they lose one of their own. It’s like losing a brother.”
I nodded sadly.
“So you might have to wait a little longer for him to see things clearly. Maybe you could stay through the week? My … my left foot is really bothering me today. Why, I could hardly get up these stairs. I might need you to drive me to the podiatrist, so—”
“It’s no use, Grams. I’m not staying.”
She sighed, deflating visibly. “I understand, dear. If you change your mind and want to try again, I’m always here, and you’re always welcome.”
I wasn’t going to change my mind, but I thanked her anyway.
She gave me a kiss on the head and stood up. “You know, when your grandfather was overseas, I used to write him letters, and he always said it was my letters that really won his heart. Maybe you could leave a little note for Mr. Woods—just something to remember you by, that’s all.”