Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 89265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89265 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 446(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“That’s right. You told me that.”
“What about you? Do you want kids?”
She nodded. “Definitely.”
I tucked some hair behind her ear, trying not to think about some other guy going to bed with her every night. Someone steady, with an MBA and a leather briefcase and a closet full of suits. Or at least a goddamn dresser. He’d support her career, too, coming home early a few nights a week to make a nutritious dinner for their two perfect kids. He’d deserve her.
I couldn’t bear the thought.
Quickly sitting up and flipping her onto her back, I braced myself above her. “So now I get to ask you about something you said earlier today.”
“Okay.”
“You said you’re always setting yourself up for disappointment. What was that all about?”
“Oh.” She made a face. “I just always seem to pick the wrong guys.”
I cocked my brow. “Am I Exhibit A?”
She laughed. “No, silly. I mean to date. This isn’t a date, remember?”
“Oh, right.” Although I kind of wished it was. I wished a lot of things right then. “So other guys have disappointed you?”
“Yes.” Then she sighed. “Although it’s probably as much my fault as theirs. For example, the guy who just broke up with me on my birthday last week—”
“Wait a minute, wait a minute. Some asshole broke up with you on your birthday?”
“Yes. It was really horrible and embarrassing. Not because I really cared for him, but because I should have seen it coming. We had no chemistry whatsoever. Zero. We never even had sex.”
My jaw dropped. “What the fuck? Why not?”
“That’s probably my fault too.” She kind of squirmed a little. “I’ve never been that into sex. I get too self-conscious.”
“About what?”
“I don’t know.” She turned her head to the side.
“Fuck off. Yes, you do.” I was teasing her, but when she looked at me again, she was serious.
“My body.”
“Your body is absolutely perfect. On a scale of one to ten, it’s a twenty.”
“And what I do with it. Or don’t do.”
“You lost me.”
She inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Someone once made me feel like I’m not good in bed. Not hot enough. Not sexy enough.”
Fury surged through me like lightning. “Who?”
“Just a guy in college.”
“Well, I’d like to just pound my fist into his face.”
She closed her eyes, shook her head lightly. “He doesn’t matter anymore. But the experience affected me a lot. Ever since then, I’ve tended to seek out men who don’t give off a strong sexual vibe, I guess because I’m looking for someone without a lot of notches on his bedpost to compare me to. That’s why I never go for guys I’m physically attracted to. I’m protecting myself. Well—until you.”
“Good. I was starting to get a complex of my own.”
That made her smile. “With you it’s different. Really different.”
“I don’t make you nervous?”
“I can’t say that exactly, but I’m less nervous with you than I’ve ever been.” She laughed, a little bashfully. “It might be that you have me too hot and bothered to remember I’m worried. My lizard brain takes over.”
“Oh yeah? Well, your lizard brain is sexy as fuck.” I lowered my mouth to her throat and her collarbone and the top of her chest. “Along with the rest of you. I can’t seem to get enough.”
“Really?”
“Really.” My dick had barely had a rest but was already showing interest in round three.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” She hooked her legs over the backs of my thighs and slid her hands down over my ass.
“I’m not. I’ve never wanted anyone this much. Or this often. Or so quickly. This probably isn’t the right time to say I wanted to fuck you the moment your grandmother showed me your picture, but it’s the truth.” I kissed my way down her sternum.
“Yeah, I’m not sure there’s ever a right time to say that. But I like it.”
“Just wait, I’ve got all kinds of inappropriate shit in my head.”
She laughed. “I do love getting inside your head.”
I kissed the fullest part of one breast. “It’s a scary place. I wish it wasn’t, but it is.”
“I don’t mind.”
She’s telling the truth, I thought, moving up to kiss her lips again. She doesn’t mind the shit in my head. She understands me. She trusts me. She accepts me.
She might even have been able to love me.
Was it too late?
Was I too fucked up to be good enough for her? I mean, what did I really have to offer? There was no way I could make her happy in the long run. I’d already made that mistake with someone way less worthy. Why would I ever repeat it?
As for being happy myself, I’d given up on that idea years ago. When I closed my eyes at night, all I craved was the dark.
But she made me want to dream again.