Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
I perked up. Molly knew I was always looking to make some extra cash. I was doing my best to save for…hell, I didn’t know. To pay off the house for Mama? To be able to afford getting her some help at a good place instead of those ones they sent people to who couldn’t afford anything else? “I’ll go talk to ’em in the morning,” I told her, and ate another bite.
She sighed, and I knew what was coming before she said the words. “You’re gonna spend your whole life killing yourself for other people. You work your ass off, and she doesn’t appreciate it. Every time she blows the mortgage money, you pop in. When her car breaks, it’s you who fixes it. You—”
“You’re not tellin’ me nothin’ I don’t know and nothin’ I want to talk about either.”
She nodded, plucked a homemade fry off my plate even though she had her own, and said, “You’re the best person I know, Sammy Joe Saunders.”
I gave her my best grin, the one that made it so she couldn’t stay mad at me. “I know.”
Molly laughed, picked up her plate, and started eating too.
I stayed at her place until about eight. The house was dark when I got home. It was just me and Mama, had been since my dad left. Her sister lived in town, with her husband, Bob, and son, Jasper. Mama and Aunt Sherry fought a lot. Aunt Sherry was older and liked to take control. Mama liked it when it suited her needs, but didn’t the rest of the time. I’d been taking care of my mom for as long as I could remember. Aunt Sherry used to try a lot more, but when you keep putting yourself out there and keep getting hurt in return, it’s hard to continue trying.
I couldn’t stop, though; wouldn’t. I did my best to make sure she was okay. And she was right now. She went through phases where she drank more than other times, and some days were worse than others. I didn’t smell alcohol on her lately. I hadn’t found her passed out drunk in months, but I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop because it always fucking did.
I took a quick shower. She was there when I walked into the living room in a pair of basketball shorts. “Hey, Mama.”
“Hey, baby. How was work today?”
“Good.”
“You see Molly?”
Guilt burned through me. I hated lying to everyone about our relationship, but I didn’t know any other way. Plus, it helped Molls too. It was what she wanted. “Yeah, I did. We had dinner at her place.”
“You should move in with her.” It wasn’t the first time we had this conversation, and I doubted it would be the last. “I’m doing good right now. I haven’t had a drink in months. This is going to be the time I stick with it.”
“I know,” I lied. I hoped, but this wasn’t my first rodeo.
“I hate that you feel like you have to stay here for me.”
“I don’t. This is my home. Plus, Molly and I aren’t ready for that.”
“You’ve been crazy about that girl since you were a kid, been with her for four years now.”
I’m not crazy about her that way. I don’t love her the way you think I do. I can’t. “We’re still not ready.”
Mom gave me a sad smile. “Well, I like having you around anyway. I’m gonna head to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” She kissed my cheek and walked to her room, which was on the opposite side of the house from mine. While Mama always told me I should leave, I knew she didn’t really mean it. The one time I’d considered moving in with Molly, just so I didn’t feel like a loser who still lived at home at twenty-five, Mama had cried off and on for three days straight. She tried to hide it, didn’t know I knew, but I’d heard her, had seen her wiping her eyes and shielding her face.
So I stayed. I always stayed.
I made my way to my room, closed and locked the door behind me. I turned some music on, grabbed my camera, and set it up. So far, jacking off online hadn’t brought in much money, but I had a few subscribers. It was a little extra cash, so I really wanted to figure out how to build up my channel. I’d heard about people making a shit ton of money doing stuff like this, though it was usually the pages where people were fucking and could actually show their faces.
Still, even without making much, it was exciting. I got off on the idea of doing something I wasn’t supposed to do, about having a sexy secret and knowing men were watching me and getting off too.