Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
When I walked into Iris’s, I had my easy Sam smile, though. That’s what everyone knew to expect from me, and God forbid I let them down.
“Sammy Joe Saunders, are you working tonight?” Ms. Sue asked. She was in her thirties, and according to Molly, had her mind set on me, even though she thought I had a girlfriend.
“No, ma’am. Just here to pick up dinner for me and Molls.”
“The two of you been together a whole lotta years not to be married.”
“There a rule for that nobody told me about?” I asked playfully.
She gave me a flirty smile. “No, I’m just sayin’ it’s interesting and all.”
“I love Molly,” I replied because I did. Most of the time, she was the only thing in this world that kept me sane.
“Um-hm.” She gave me a skeptical look.
“I’m gonna get our dinner now. You have a good day.”
Before making it to the back counter where I knew my food would be waiting, I got stopped three more times: once to see how my mama was doing, once to ask if I could help clean out a shed this weekend, and once by someone who wanted me to help their son build a gazebo. I was known for odd jobs or just helping everyone out.
I was exhausted by it all when I got to Molly’s. I knocked, then opened the door. “Honey, I’m home,” I teased. She lived in a small one-bedroom house and peeked out from down the hallway. She’d just gotten out of the shower and had a towel wrapped around her body.
“I’m getting dressed. Hey, what’s wrong?” She had the uncanny ability to tell my moods, sometimes better than I could myself.
“Just one of those days, is all.”
She gave me a sad smile. “We’ll talk in a minute.”
I nodded, then pulled the food out, setting it at the table this time. I grabbed some tea from the fridge just as Molly came out in a tank top and shorts.
“Still nothing from mysterious Hottie McHot Pants?”
“Nope.” I plopped down in the chair, no longer craving my fried catfish and okra. “He probably thinks I’m a stalker.” I loved that she asked about him, though. It was something she did because she knew I was strangely interested in him. Molly was good at talking about stuff she knew was important to me.
“Well, you did leave chips on his porch in the middle of the night.” She winked playfully.
“I thought it was cute!” But clearly, I knew nothing about dating, considering that my only experience outside of hooking up was with my female best friend. In reality, I would likely be creeped out by me too. I didn’t know why in the hell I did that. “I don’t even know if this guy is queer or not. What the fuck is wrong with me?”
I plopped my elbows on the table, covering my face with my hands. Honestly, though, somewhere inside me, I knew he was. It was just a feeling I got, some part of me that knew my secret was safe with him. That Emerson had secrets of his own.
“Nothing is wrong with you. Everyone wants to find their place in the world, Sammy. Everyone wants to fit, and you don’t feel like you do. You’re searching for the kind of connection you just don’t have here…and I love you, but you might not ever find it here. You can’t stay forever for her…or for me either.”
“Ugh.” I fell back against the chair. I didn’t feel like doing this again. It wasn’t the first time we’d had this conversation. “What the hell do I know about being anywhere but here? I don’t fit in Charlotte any better than I do in Ryland, Molls. This is home.” Still, sometimes I did feel untethered to the earth, like I had nothing connecting me to it, not really. That it would be easy for me to just float away.
“How was the movie with Marsha?” I asked, changing the subject. Molly was obsessed with movies and had gone to see one with her sister earlier.
“Eh. It was all right. I wasn’t fond of the cinematography.” She rambled on about movies, and I listened the way she did when I talked to her, and tried not to think about Emerson.
My eyes jerked open at the sound of my cell, my heart thudding in my throat. I always knew what it was when I got a phone call in the middle of the night. I didn’t know how bad it would be, but there was never a time it hadn’t been about Mama.
I grabbed the phone from the nightstand, hoping to answer before it woke Molly. I slept with her when I stayed over so I didn’t have to use the couch; plus, it felt good to have a warm body next to mine, to hear someone else breathing and the mattress shift with them. The lamp on her side of the bed turned on, so since she was up, I stayed while I answered, “Hello?”