Total pages in book: 89
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85682 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 428(@200wpm)___ 343(@250wpm)___ 286(@300wpm)
I smiled. “Yeah, I guess you better.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Emerson
Sam wiped the table off, and then we cleaned up. I tugged on my jeans again, keeping them open, and he just wore his shorts. That hadn’t gone as planned, though by this point, maybe I should just realize it never did when it came to Sam. The fact that he was here at all proved it.
“What are we eating tonight?” he asked. I didn’t think silence suited him. He tried to fill it as often as he could, while I’d been so alone for so long, I was still getting used to being with another person, having them in my home.
“I was thinking of making hamburgers and fries. Make use of that oil for something other than your hole.”
He grinned, and it was so sweet and genuine that, again, all I could think of was him not living his life. Not meeting someone one day, or settling in similar ways that Daniel had with me. I wanted Sam to have the world and not devote his time to taking care of others or being who they needed him to be. Especially not people who didn’t do the same for him.
“I can still feel you. It’s fuckin’ hot. I’ve never had someone’s load inside me before. Well, other than in my belly.” He winked.
“That was awfully dirty of you, Sam Saunders.” I grabbed a few potatoes from a basket on the counter and began washing them off.
“I’ll never understand why my parents named me Sam when my last name is Saunders. The alliteration is ridiculous.”
“I think it’s cute,” I flirted, without meaning to. He had the ability to put me at ease even when he wasn’t trying, and I didn’t know how I felt about that.
“I think you’re cute,” he countered.
“I was hoping for ruggedly handsome.”
“That too.” He hopped onto the counter, the way he liked to do, while I got a knife and cutting board. I filled a bowl with water and worked my way through cutting the fries when he asked, “What did you hear and how?”
Shit. I’d known this was coming, but it wasn’t like I couldn’t tell him. He had a right to know. I was also surprised Molly hadn’t mentioned to him seeing me at the diner. I wasn’t going to tell him what she’d said to me. She cared about him and only wanted what was best for him. “It wasn’t a big deal. I decided to go to Iris’s for breakfast. There was a waitress. I think she was trying to hit on me, and she mentioned how my being there would give everyone something to talk about, which then led to her talking about how they were gossiping about you before.”
I continued to cut, hoping we could end it there, but wasn’t surprised when he asked, “And?”
“Does it matter?”
“Tell me.”
“Sam—”
“Tell me, Emerson. It ain’t like I haven’t heard it all before.”
I sighed. “Something about your mom being drunk and them having to call you in the middle of the night to go and get her. She made it clear that wasn’t anything new, and she surmised from there that your mom is the reason you haven’t married or moved in with Molly. Because you can’t leave her alone and you take care of her.”
He nodded, kicking his feet out, one, then the other, then the first again. “Guess it coulda been worse. That’s what made you decide we can’t fuck? Jesus, I’d think it would make you offer me vacation pay and more benefits while I’m here.”
“Sam.”
“Emerson.” When I cocked a brow at him, he sighed. “Don’tcha think it’s a little unfair that I have to share my shit and you don’t share yours? It’s my life. I’m used to it. She’s sensitive and always has been. When my daddy left, things went downhill quickly. It used to be worse than it is now. Imagine being ten years old and showering your mom after she vomited all over herself and can’t stop crying.”
My heart broke for him, but I also felt a strange…envy. Not because of what he dealt with, of course, but the fact that it didn’t turn him angry and bitter the way it did me. Though I was probably a different kind of man even before Daniel’s murder than Sam could ever be.
“Stop lookin’ at me like that. I hate pity. I have a mama who’s always loved me. It’s herself she can’t seem to love. It’s an addiction, and it’s not her fault. She tries to stop. I used to…I used to write her letters before school sometimes. I know that sounds crazy. It was hard for me to ask her to quit because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, didn’t ever want to make her feel bad, so I found a way to do it when I wasn’t home. I’d write her a letter and ask her to stop drinkin’, or I’d ask her not to drink that specific day because I had an event at school or somethin’ she needed to go to. She tried to listen. It was clear those letters broke her heart, and she’d try, she really would. She still does. She can go weeks without drinking, but…”