Total pages in book: 170
Estimated words: 160166 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 801(@200wpm)___ 641(@250wpm)___ 534(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 160166 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 801(@200wpm)___ 641(@250wpm)___ 534(@300wpm)
As he sits on the edge of the bed, I can picture his hand wrapping around my throat and I have to at least apologize first. I don’t think he’ll believe him if I were to tell him I love him, but he has to know I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so pathetic it’s obvious that I’m sorry.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper and the words are choked, barely audible.
Roughly, I wipe the pathetic tears away. My hands tremble as I do and to my surprise, Declan holds me.
He doesn’t shush me, but he brings me into his chest and the moment he shows me that bit of compassion, I break beneath him, clinging to him and holding onto him when I know I have no right.
With my head buried into his chest, I close my eyes and fall apart.
His hand runs up and down my back as he lays us down, silently but gently.
He allows me the moment to grieve and I wish I could stop it. I wish I wasn’t the pathetic regretful mess I am, but I can’t stop it. By the time I’m done, both my body and eyes are heavy. It’s like everything has given up. Sleep could pull me in now and take me forever.
My eyes open and I stare at the button on his collar. Inhaling his masculine scent and enveloped by his warmth, I dare to whisper into his chest, “Can you do it in my sleep?” My heart beats once, a dull thud. He’s still, unresponsive, and I know I’m every bit the coward when I beg him, “I know I don’t deserve it, but if you could,” I pause to take in a shuddered breath before continuing, “if I could be asleep, I think it could be peaceful.”
I’m left with shock and uncertainty as he swiftly pulls away and leaves me alone on the bed, slamming the bathroom door behind him.
DECLAN
I must be fucked in the head, but then again, I always have been. The back of my eyes sting as I grip the edge of the cheap pedestal sink in this shithole. The mirror is cracked and the silvering peeling off in one corner and my vision moves from it to my reflection as I do everything I can to just breathe.
Everything fucking hurts. Every piece of me is sickened and numbed from years of this fucked-up life.
She wants me to kill her while she sleeps. While she holds on to me, and falls asleep in my arms, she thinks I could do such a thing. I fucking love her. I love her more than I ever thought I could.
All I see when I look at Braelynn is someone I want to protect. Someone I would burn the world to the ground for. How can she not see that? Am I truly such a monster she’d rather die? My hand shakes as I reach for my phone while it buzzes in my back pocket.
All she had to do, was stay with me … but I should have known better. She is sweet and naïve, she’s curious and reckless … but how could a woman like her ever want to stay with me?
The screen lights up the bathroom as a storm brews outside. The small paned window in the cramped bathroom is cracked and a brisk breeze blows in. My entire body feels as if it’s on fire one minute, then chilled the next.
Are you with her? Carter texts and my throat closes.
I’ve never felt such shame. My shoulders heave forward and it takes every ounce of control in me not so smash my fist into the mirror, shattering the glass.
This pain is something I’ve never felt. With my eyes closed and my breathing coming in ragged I try to hold it all back. To shove it all down.
I don’t want any of this to be real anymore. I just want to go back. To rewind it all.
If ever there was a God who would listen to my pleas, I beg him now, please stop this. Hell, I’d sell my soul to the devil himself to make it stop. To make her happy and safe. Even if it means a life without me.
I’d rather die than for her to think I’d ever hurt her.
Crash! Bang! “Hands where we can see them!” Shock rips through me at the sound of the door to this shit motel room being kicked in. It’s nearly surreal as I walk out, the bathroom door creaking open in complete opposition to the screaming and chaos.
“Freeze!”
“Get on the floor, get on the floor!”
“Declan Cross, come out with your hands up!”
“Hands behind your back!” The moment they see me, orders are made. My response is nearly automatic. I’ve been arrested more times than I can count, let alone remember.
“On what grounds?” My tone is flat as I focus on Braelynn, still under the covers, her eyes wide with new fear.