Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
“What?” Shel whispers, knowing I haven’t seen my mom since before Gabe died.
“Please tell me you’re fucking kidding me,” Dad bites out, walking to the door and slipping on his boots.
“Don’t.” I grab his arm. “Please don’t. I need to do this. I need to tell her myself how I feel.”
“No, you do not.”
I turn my head when I hear that rumbled, and blink when I see a pissed off Denver standing in the now open doorway.
“Wha—”
“Went to the house. Your mom was there when I walked in. When I asked where you were, she said you took off. I came here knowing this is where you’d be. I just heard everything you said, and no way are you facing that alone, not when you don’t have to.”
“Denver—”
“No. Remember when I said I’d do everything in my power to take care of you? This is part of me doing that.”
“I have to be the one to tell her.”
“I get that, and you can do that. But you’ll have me, your dad, and Shel at your back while you do it.”
“Okay,” I agree, stepping toward him, and I watch as tension drains from his shoulders. If I didn’t already know I love him, I would have figured it out right then. Him feeling so much worry over me talking to the woman who has made me feel unloved and unwanted most of my life, and demanding to be at my back, would have shown me what I already know. “Can we do that now?” I ask, looking into his eyes when he doesn’t move to get out of my way.
“Yeah,” he mutters, before wrapping his hand around the back of my neck, pulling me forward, and dropping a very quick, very hard kiss to my mouth before he leans back to search my eyes. “You got this, baby.”
I nod, but he doesn’t nod back. He slides his heavy arm around my shoulders then walks back to my front door. I hear my dad and Shel coming up the steps as I open the door, and I know by the look on my mom’s face when she sees them and isn’t happy about it. She acted like things were okay between everyone when I was getting married to Gabe, but seeing the anger in her eyes as she looks between Shel and Dad, I know that was all pretend.
“Seriously?” she questions, placing her hands on her hips, her eyes darting from me to my dad, who is now standing at my side, and then back to me. “I didn’t come here for drama.”
“Why are you here?” I ask. “Wait. Never mind. I really don’t care.” I cut her off when her mouth starts to open. “You know my husband died four years ago, right?”
Her face softens slightly. “I know, honey. I—”
“You weren’t here then, when I needed you. You didn’t show when I found out I was pregnant. You didn’t show when I had Ly. I haven’t seen you in years.”
“I know, but—”
“No, I don’t want to hear it, because I no longer care. I no longer need to pretend that you worry about me, that you think about me, or that you want me in your life as badly as I used to want you in mine.”
“I’m your mom.”
“You are? That’s funny.” I laugh, but it’s a sound full of pain, heartache, and empty promises made to a little girl who only ever wanted to be loved. “Funny, because the last time I checked, it was Shel who talked to me about my period, about boys, and about sex. It was Shel who stood at my side, holding my hand when Gabe’s ashes sank to the bottom of the ocean. It was Shel who curled around me as I cried all night. It was Shel who forced me to eat and to shower. It was Shel who held my hand when I heard Ly’s heartbeat for the first time. Shel was the one who came over to take care of me when I had morning sickness so bad I couldn’t get out of bed. It was Shel who showed me how to change a diaper, how to hold a baby. And it was definitely Shel who showed me how to be”—I lean forward and shout—“a mom!”
“Yeah, I know Shel is perfect,” she hisses, cutting her eyes to Shel, and I feel my dad tense. “Always so perfect, so perfect she gave up her first kid. Couldn’t even hack being a mom.”
“Do not fucking go there,” Dad rumbles.
“When Dad told me that he and Shel had given up their baby, you know what I thought?” I ask quietly, and my mom looks at me. “I thought, God, why didn’t my mom give me up? She didn’t even want me. At least if she had done that, I could have had a mom who cared about me.”