Total pages in book: 54
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51525 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 258(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 172(@300wpm)
“Okay, I’ve given you enough time. Talk to me.”
At Shel’s quiet demand, I turn to look at her and want to kick myself for the worry I see in her eyes. After I cried this morning, I got up, dressed, and went over to my parents’ to pick up Ly. My dad was at work, but Shel was there, and the minute she saw my face, she knew something happened. When she asked me about it, I told her I’d explain later, and thankfully she let it go. Unfortunately, later is now, and I can tell by the look she’s giving me that she’s not going to drop it until I talk to her.
“I messed up.” I pull my eyes from hers and look back down the hill to where Ly and Pen are now coming back up the muddy trail with the help of my dad. “Yesterday, Denver showed up at the house early, because he heard I was going out on a date.” I see her flinch out of the corner of my eye, and I pull in a breath then look at her. “It’s okay.” I shake my head. “He kissed me and told me he was done waiting for me and that we needed to talk about us.”
“He did that?” she asks, sounding not in shock but in awe.
“He… I… God, Shel. I’ve been in love with him since I can remember, but I don’t want that. I don’t want to be with him. I can’t be with him.” I pull in a shuddering breath and fight back the pain in my chest, the one caused by the lies I’m saying out loud.
“Why not?”
I close my eyes when I feel them start to fill with tears. “He makes me forget everything,” I whisper. “He makes me forget, and I don’t want to.”
“He makes you forget about Gabe.” It’s a statement not a question, and I hate that she knows I can so easily forget about the man I promised myself to.
“Yes, about Gabe, about who I am, about my promise to not end up like my mom.”
“You’re mom? What do you mean?”
“She forgets I exist every time she has a new man in her life.”
Realization fills her eyes and her face softens. “Honey, you’re not your mom, and you’re not going to forget about Lyra just because you find a man you care about.”
“You might be right, but then again, what does it say about me and the way I felt about Gabe that I forget all the years we had together the moment I’m around Denver? It makes me feel like I’m betraying him, like I didn’t love him enough… that I don’t love him enough still.”
“Bre,” she whispers, and I notice tears shimmering in her eyes.
“I’m the only connection Ly has to Gabe. If I forget about him, who will tell her about the kind of man he was?”
“Gorgeous, you will never forget about him. Not ever. And you will never let Ly forget him either. I know you loved him. Everyone knows that. But your life didn’t end when his did, and you know Gabe would’ve never wanted you to be alone. He would have wanted you to find someone to share your life with. He would have wanted you to be happy.”
She wraps her arms around me, and I rest my head on her shoulder as a quiet sob climbs up the back of my throat. Gabe would have wanted me to be happy. He always wanted me happy.
“I know it’s scary to even think about putting your heart on the line,” she whispers against my ear. “But I don’t want you to look back on your life and have regrets, Aubrey. I don’t want you to look at your life in a few years and wish you took a chance. I know what it feels like to live with regrets, honey. I wish I had been braver. Please, for your happiness, be brave, honey.”
“Shel,” I whimper as the pain in her voice causes my chest to hurt. I know she’s speaking from experience. She and my dad gave their son up for adoption when they were just kids themselves, and not long after that, Shel left my dad behind, because she was unable to deal with her pain. I know she regrets leaving, even though without her leaving, my brothers and I probably wouldn’t be here.
“Be brave, beautiful, and I promise—” her arms tighten around me “—promise you it will be worth it.”
“Everything okay?” Dad’s deep voice breaks into the moment, and I quickly stand back from Shel and wipe the tears from my face as she does the same with her own cheeks.
“Everything is fine. You know us, honey. Sometimes us girls just need to have a good cry,” Shel explains.