Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 139186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 696(@200wpm)___ 557(@250wpm)___ 464(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 696(@200wpm)___ 557(@250wpm)___ 464(@300wpm)
Jake shook his head, curling into Vars’s embrace all too aware of his tender ass. “There were several times I just spaced out, you know? I was so in the moment nothing else mattered. I mean… let’s face it, you made me cry. Last time I cried was years ago.”
Vars brushed his lips across Jake’s forehead and moved his wandering hand up, all the way to his nape. It was so hot it felt like it might have absorbed some of the warmth of Jake’s buttocks. There was something unbelievably tender in Vars’s gaze when his eyes searched Jake’s, as if he saw something in him no one else could.
“I think that maybe you needed that. A cathartic experience.”
“Ca-what?” Jake laughed and took his time kissing Vars, sliding his fingers into the silvery beard. “Now that I have all the time in the world, maybe I’ll go back and finish high school one day and learn fancy words like that.”
“Ultimate release,” Vars explained, laughing so heartily his chest shook under Jake.
Pressed so tightly together, their warm bodies were in sync, rolling through the soft sheets with limbs entwining into a perfect knot. Even after an entire night of steaming up together under the covers, Vars smelled amazing, like coffee cooked over an open fire. Now that Jake was awake, he wanted to get his fill of it again.
“Was it as good for you too? Were you cathartic too?” Jake wrapped his arms around Vars’s neck, unable to comprehend how one human being could feel so close to another, yet remain separate entities. He cheekily rubbed his face against the pillow of the beard, but when Vars didn’t tell him to stop, Jake indulged in the soft cushion of hair.
Thick arms, steady as the branches of a tree, slid around him and pulled him even closer, as if Vars wished for their bodies to somehow fuse together permanently.
“You know it was. I could let go too, in my own way. It’s so easy for me to trust you.”
Jake snorted. “It’s easy to trust someone when they’re chained down.”
Vars sighed so heavily Jake sank down along with the firm chest. “If a submissive is unstable, you can’t trust them. Even if they aren’t murderous, they might stalk you, or blackmail you by saying you did things you two hadn’t really agreed on, he can go crazy on you like anyone else. The fact that they might like pain or following orders doesn’t mean they are all vulnerable flowers.
“Damon used to make it a point of his pride to outsmart me. He always tried to wiggle out of the restraints and then taunted me I hadn’t made them tight enough. I could have, of course, but considering that I want my subs to be willing, I don’t account for people dislocating their thumbs for the sake of freeing themselves. He would be so passive-aggressive when he felt I wasn’t forceful enough. I might be the dom, but at that point, I cared for him, and it did hurt me, even if I know he had no right to act the way he did. That relationship was so toxic, Jake, you have no idea.”
Jake leaned closer and kissed the nasty red mark left around Vars’s neck by Damon’s wire. “I get it. Yes, you can trust me. I will be a good boy for you,” he whispered, pressing into Vars with a whimper when Vars squeezed one of his aching buttocks.
Vars exhaled, and his smile spoke of relief. Eager to soothe him, Jake moved his fingertips over Vars’s chest, pulling them through the curls of hair. “It was always mind games with him. He’d be sweet and pliant one moment, and then he’d push my boundaries. Because I also have preferences. There are things I won’t do. He wanted me to bring him closer to death.”
“He can ask me. I’ll bring him close to death anytime,” Jake grumbled. Just thinking about Vars getting pulled into Damon’s sick games had his blood boiling.
A sad smile crooked Vars’s lips, and he hugged Jake tighter. “Better promise me you won’t confront him. He’s dangerous, and this isn’t an exaggeration.”—Vars gave a sharp inhale and shut his eyes.—“He murdered me in my own en suite. He wanted me to choke him underwater, but I don’t do edging. I won’t do anything that would have put my sub’s life at risk. One time I found him in my apartment, with the bath prepared, him in a collar.
“He told me that as a dominant I didn’t get to say what my limits were, because it wasn’t me who was in danger. That it was all the same to me—but it’s not, Jake, it’s not. I don’t want to hold someone’s life in my hand this way. So I told him, and he got so angry he just tossed me in there. He beat at my head, and he held me down, screaming that he’d show me what ‘dominant’ meant.” Vars swallowed hard, and even though he was obviously trying to keep his body relaxed and voice steady, Jake could sense the heartbeat inside the powerful chest go frantic.