Total pages in book: 124
Estimated words: 119005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 119005 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 595(@200wpm)___ 476(@250wpm)___ 397(@300wpm)
“Beth.” Iain lifted his hands in a placating gesture. “It’s fine. I understand.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed. I—”
“Stop it.” He ducked his head, giving me a kind smile. “I got to put in an appearance here with a beautiful, poised woman on my arm. If that’s all I get from you, I still feel very lucky.”
Wow.
That was one of the nicest things anyone had ever said to me. “You’re a gentleman.”
He gave me another kind smile and raised his arm for me to take. “Let me drive you home. We’ll set up a meeting another time.”
Relief and sadness crashed over me as I took his arm.
The limo pulled away, leaving me outside the flats.
I wanted to burst into tears.
Part of me wanted the numbness to come back, but another part of me was scared shitless of it.
Feeling, no matter how badly, was better than not feeling.
It had to be.
I let myself into the building, lifting my pretty dress so I could climb the stairs. My sandals clacked annoyingly with every slow, heavy step upward. For the first time in ages, I longed for a bathtub. I only had a shower in my flat. But a soak in a tub with a glass of wine sounded like the right kind of end to this strange evening. Callan had a bathtub.
Arsehole.
Not one word from him all week!
He didn’t give a flying feck about me.
I should have slept with Iain. It wouldn’t have mattered to Callan. I wouldn’t have been betraying anyone. Callan was probably off shagging the first woman who threw herself at his cock! One of the many reasons I had deliberately avoided his routine this week was because I did not want to bump into him and one of his one-night stands.
Ooh, the anger felt good.
Much, much better than heartache.
I found myself stomping up the last flight of stairs, imagining him at a pub tonight with Baird and John, flirting with some strange lassie and deciding to bring her back to his bed.
To the bed we’d made love in.
We’d. Made. Love.
I faltered, sucking in a painful breath.
He had made love to me.
I didn’t imagine that.
Why?
Why did he do that if I meant nothing?
I hated him.
He was a shagging, messed-up, broken wee fuck boy, and I was better—
I stumbled as I reached the landing.
Callan sat slumped at my front door, his elbows to his knees, his head bowed in his hands.
My pulse raced.
He lifted his head and the anguish in his gaze threatened to take me down. “Did you sleep with him?” he asked, his voice rough around the words.
Indignation straightened my back as I slowly moved toward him. “Jealous?”
Callan’s huff of laughter was bitter and hoarse. “Jealous?” he whispered.
That’s when I saw the sheen in his eyes.
Tears.
Oh my God.
My legs shook.
“It’s more than jealousy, Beth,” he hissed. He pressed a fist to his stomach. “I feel like my fucking guts are being ripped out.”
With my legs ready to buckle and hope ballooning too big and overwhelming in my chest, I lowered to my knees before him, uncaring if my dress got dirty.
Our eyes held, his pleading.
“I didn’t sleep with him. I didn’t even kiss him.”
Callan squeezed his eyes shut as he rested his head back against my door and a tear leaked free.
“Callan?”
“You … you terrify me.” He finally opened his eyes. “You have me in the palms of your fucking hands.”
Relief bubbled up and over, my tears springing free. I swiped at them as I promised, “You have me in yours.”
“Do I?”
“You know you do.”
“Why did you go on a date?”
“Because in order to get through the past week, I’ve been walking through life like I was on Novocain. It was Erstwhile. I wanted a business meeting with him, and he asked me to this benefit instead. I said yes. Then I saw you … and I remembered my heart was broken. So I asked Iain to bring me home.”
Callan cursed and reached out to take my hand. My fingers instinctually curled around his. It felt so good. Like a piece of me clicking back into place.
“You can hurt me as badly as I can hurt you,” I told him. “It’s mutually assured destruction, Captain. So why don’t we try our very best not to hurt each other?”
His fingers flexed around mine, relief lightening his expression. “Okay, princess.”
“Are you … are you saying you want to try this for real?”
“I can’t seem to function without you, so, aye. I want us to try this for real.”
My lips trembled and he suddenly pushed away from the door and stood. He pulled me up and I wobbled in my sandals.
“Can I come in?”
I nodded, my fingers shaking with a million different emotions as I pulled the keys out of my clutch. It was a lot to come at me after a week of nothing. I opened the door and whirled on Callan. His expression was still brooding, his shoulders seeming to bristle with tension. “You’re not … you won’t leave?”