Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
“It’s going to be fine. This is the right decision.”
It is.
I’ve thought about it and my decision to say yes is the right decision. My decision to trust Shepard is the right decision. Because what made me trust him in the first place still stands true: I can’t be trusted because my heart still belongs to the one who doesn’t know what to do with it. And if Shepard can fix it, fix me, then I should let him.
Besides, minus a few road bumps, the plan is the same.
To be the best fiancée to him.
Taking a bite out of her Pop-Tart, she says, “I still don’t like that you’re going on the road.”
Pop-Tarts are her favorites, so I bring them with me almost every visit. Along with kulfi, an Indian ice cream and gulab jamun, an Indian dessert. Usually, we watch movies, but today, we’re simply lounging on her bed, eating Pop-Tarts and shooting the shit. While her admirers go in and out, bringing her roses.
I twirl one in my hand. “Why not?”
Roses are my favorite flower.
I know, I know. I dream about the pink magnolias enough, but they’re my second favorites.
My top favorite will always be roses. They’re pretty and pink and velvety. Plus, they also remind me of a certain someone and his mouth. So ever since I’ve met him, I’ve taken to stealing some from my biji.
It’s pathetic, I know.
But no one has ever given me roses, so my options are kind of limited. I could go out and just buy them, but I think that’s more pathetic than never receiving one.
So stealing it is.
She looks back at me. “Because he’s going to be there.”
I squirm, hugging the rose to my chest. “It’s okay. It’s fine. I’m engaged now.” I show her my ring again. “It’s all good. I’m moving on from him. And this time I really mean it.”
Aside from what happened in the bathroom yesterday, that is.
Okay, I know what I did was bad. No matter how much he tried to absolve me of it. And I also know it can’t happen again. I won’t let it happen again. My only excuse for this one time is that I have no excuse.
I did it willingly and with my complete volition.
I betrayed my fiancé.
And the only thing I can do now is that I never do it again.
“Well, maybe this will help him get his head out of his ass. Seeing another man’s ring on your finger.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do here, Biji,” I tell her one more time. “You know that. I was never trying to do that.”
She huffs and looks away.
With that thought, I say goodbye to Biji and go home to pack. My mother, of course, isn’t happy about me going on the road with the team. But since I’m engaged now and Shep was extremely happy when he heard about me joining him, she couldn’t stay no. She did say she’d regularly check up on me though.
It takes me a day to get my affairs in order: taking a leave of absence at college for the next few weeks, which my dean wasn’t happy about, but since I’m a rich, spoiled girl and he knows my dad, he let me go with the condition that I turn in my assignments and complete my homework on time.
I also let my drama professor know that I’m going away. This one hurt me a little bit because right after the play, he had told me about this great drama camp opportunity. He said that I should apply for it and that he’d help me. He said I have a gift and that he’d be honored to help me reach my goals. I just about broke down crying. Anyway, at my news of going on the road, he was a bit disappointed, but he assured me that we could discuss my application over Zoom calls. Not to mention, I could join the classes via Zoom.
Shepard picks me up for the bus the next day. I’m cautiously positive about the days to come, but then the first thing I see when I board the bus is him.
It’s one those big buses with rows of seats up front, which are all full, and a couple of private rooms in the back in addition to the bathroom. There are a couple of booth-type thingies too, all the way in the back, just off the private rooms with a table in the middle, which is where he sits, tucked away in a corner with a clipboard.
It’s not as if I wasn’t expecting to see him, but for a few seconds, I can’t take my eyes off him.
I’ve of course seen him in his athletic T-shirts that show off every single bulge of his sculpted muscles, every single flex as he moves and breathes, and those gray sweatpants that he wears with them. But this is the first time I’m seeing him after that night.