Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Then, with a sharp swallow, he says, “I will stay away. After this. I will stay so far away from you that you won’t even notice me around. You won’t even know I’m there, yeah? You don’t have to look at me. You don’t have to look at my face. You don’t have to know that I even exist. I will erase myself from your life, if that’s what it takes, all right? I will do anything you want, any-fucking-thing that you can think of. But I want you to go on the road with us. I need you to go, do you understand?”
He grabs my face then.
With both hands.
And like his grip from before, when he’d almost lost it at the news about my mother, it’s tight and urgent. It’s brimming with things I don’t understand. That I don’t even hope to understand in this moment.
“I need you to do this,” he says, his eyes swirling and intense, so, so intense. “I need you to be safe. I need you to be away from her. I need you where she can’t get to you. Not now. Not ever. Not fucking ever, Dora. And I’m going to make it so. I’m going to make it so that she never lays a hand on you and that’s a promise. My fucking promise to you. I will break every other promise I’ve ever made in my life, every other promise that I will ever make in my entire fucking life, to keep this one, do you understand? So I need you to promise me that you’ll go. I need you to do that for me. I need you to let me keep you safe. And I’ll do anything you want for it. Anything at all.”
“Anything?” I whisper.
“Any-fucking-thing,” he promises, his hands so hot on my cheeks.
His breaths so hot.
His body all feverish once again.
I watch him for a few seconds. I watch him watch me. I watch him standing on the edge for me, waiting for my answer. I watch him hanging on to me. As if his head’s on the guillotine and I’m the one with the sword.
Like I’m the one who could kill him if I wanted.
And I realize I’ve never felt this alive in my life.
I’ve never felt this powerful.
All because this man, this cold and heartless man, the man of my dreams, promised he’ll give me anything I wanted.
So what do I want?
“I just got engaged,” I whisper.
In response, he flinches, his fingers pressing into my cheeks.
“To your twin brother.”
His breaths were already hot and fast. Now they’re noisy too.
Now they’re loud and thick.
I slide my hands out of his hair and bring them down to the bruise on his jaw. “I’m going to marry him soon.” I look at my fingers touching the nasty scrape. “Then I’ll be his forever.”
His fist is clenching and unclenching in my hair.
“But before that happens,” I whisper, still staring at his wound. “I want you to kiss me.”
This time, his body doesn’t go through a flinch but a whole shudder.
And I look up.
Into his eyes.
They’re dark and gleaming. Molten and fiery.
I press my fingers into his bruise a little and I know it hurts him. Even though he shows no reaction to it, but I know. Because it hurts me. Because we’re so entwined in this moment. We know each other’s thoughts. We know each other’s desires.
He knows.
He knew before I asked him.
I can see that.
He’s not at all shocked at my request.
I’m not either.
I’m the girl who could have anything in this moment—and I know he will make it so—but this is what I chose.
Him. His kiss.
My destiny.
“You told me you wouldn’t cross that line.” I trace his mouth with my fingers as I keep my gaze steady on him. “In the closet. You said you wouldn’t cross that line for me. You let me go. You let me go after everything you’ve done. All the lies you’ve told. All the games you’ve played. All the deception, all the pretenses. You chose to let me free. And we both know it’s not because you care about me. So maybe you did it because you’re such a good guy after all. Such a good brother. Such a good coach. Maybe because when push comes to shove, you could never break any rules. You could never stray off your path. You could never touch your twin brother’s fiancée. You couldn’t touch his girlfriend, let alone his fiancée.
“But I want you to do it now. I want you to touch me. I want you to kiss me. I want you to break your rules for me. I want you to ruin yourself for me. Destroy yourself. Wreck your morals. Cross all your stupid fucking lines. I want you to do what I did for you. How I lied and cheated. How I fucking loved you despite not being supposed to. I want you to be like me and let me be your Lolita.”