Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
My chest heaves, going up and down. My breaths are cold and papery as I once again stare at the screen like my life depends on it. And maybe it does because the moment he answers back, my heart stops.
Shepard
No.
Isadora
What?
Shepard
What makes you think I want you to be my girlfriend.
After everything you’ve done.
This hadn’t occurred to me. I have to admit.
Not once did I think he’d… refuse. Not once did I think he’d say no.
He is, though, and… And I think it makes sense, right?
It makes perfect sense because I’ve hurt him. Not only did I string him along for almost a year, I made him wait for two whole weeks after I forced him to give me an ultimatum. After he told me he loved me.
God, I should’ve thought of that. It should’ve been obvious.
I hasten to reply back.
Isadora
I know you’re mad at me. I know that. I understand that. But I just need one chance.
Shepard
One chance for what?
Isadora
One chance to prove that I mean it. That I won’t ever do anything to hurt you.
Shepard
Yeah, see that’s the thing, isn’t it, from the sound of it you already have.
Isadora
Please, Shepard.
I’ll do anything.
Shepard
To be my girlfriend, you mean.
Isadora
Yes! Whatever it is that you want me to do.
I’ll do it all.
I’m gripping my phone with both hands now, sitting up in the bed. My breaths are louder than the wind whipping outside. And then they explode when he replies.
Shepard
Okay.
Isadora
Okay, I can be your girlfriend?
Shepard
Okay, I’ll let you do anything to be my girlfriend.
I chew on my lips as I respond.
Isadora
What does that mean?
Shepard
It means that you should rest your knees tonight. Because starting tomorrow you’ll be spending a lot of time on them. Begging me to stop stringing you along and playing with your emotions. Starting tomorrow you’ll be begging me to show you mercy. When you didn’t. For a whole fucking year.
Chapter 7
Sitting on the window seat, I stare at the icy panes. I stare at the flurries of snow falling beyond it. They’re the kind that stick to the ground, to everything they touch, morphing the world into the land that’s either made of wonder or waste.
Kind of like love.
Making a heart bloom or taking away its last beat.
Looking away from the window, I glance down at the phone in my hand.
Unable to sleep, I read and reread the messages with Shepard. My boyfriend or rather my would-be boyfriend when I’m done repenting for my sins against him. It’s okay. I don’t think it’s unfair by any means. After everything I’ve put him through, I think I’m getting off easy.
It’s the other thing that’s stealing my sleep in this moment.
I’m telling myself I shouldn’t do it.
That there’s no reason for me to do something like this. Yes, he’s benched Shepard for whatever reason, but it’s not my fight. It’s theirs. They should resolve it. I have no reason to put myself in the middle of it. In fact, I’ve already tried to come between them and I should be thankful it never panned out.
But for some reason, I can’t help myself.
From pulling up his number—he never gave it to me, of course; I lifted it off Shepard’s phone one day—and firing him off a text.
Isadora
Put him back on. 😤🤬
His reply comes back in seconds as if his phone was in his hands and he was just waiting for it to ring.
Wildfire Thorn
Who is this?
Even though he has no reason to know who this is, his innocuous response makes me angry. It makes me want to punch him.
Isadora
This is the girl who’s going to kick your ass! 😡😡😡
Wildfire Thorn
I thought you were going to burn me down and melt me. Or something to that effect.
I gasp.
Asshole.
You know what, I’m changing his name to asshole just as soon as I get off from chewing his ass out.
Isadora
You knew who I was.
Wildfire Thorn
I had a feeling.
Although I don’t remember giving you my number.
Isadora
I stole it from Shepard because I’m just so obsessed with you.
That was sarcasm by the way. Something you’re so familiar with.
Wildfire Thorn
I am familiar with it, yes. That’s how I know sarcasm is just a fancy way of telling the truth.
Although what I don’t know is do I need to change my number now that you have it.
I grit my teeth.
I narrow my eyes at the screen even though he can’t see me.
Isadora
Relax. I have no interest in you. Not anymore.
Wildfire Thorn
So then to what do I owe this annoyance in the middle of the night?
Isadora
You benched him.
Wildfire Thorn
Who’s him?
I grit my teeth harder and stab the screen with my fingers as I respond.
Isadora
Don’t be an asshole.
Wildfire Thorn
Can’t help it.
Isadora
Put him back on the team!! 🤬🤬🤬
Now!!😡🤬😤
Wildfire Thorn
I would. Except you still haven’t said it.
“God, I hate him,” I grumble to the phone, but instead of typing out a response, I just hit call. This back and forth is ridiculous.