Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
My heart clenches. “You’re not a monster.”
Pain ripples through his features and his fingers flex on my face. “I’m… I…”
“You what?”
He swallows thickly. “I-I think I know but… it’s hard for me to believe that.”
“You’re not,” I insist, grabbing his face. “And you’re definitely not like your father.”
Heartbreak shines in his eyes. “I believed that for years. Ever since I was five, I… I thought I was like my father and I finally know I’m not. I know… But I…”
“Is that why you… you freaked out about my mom. When I told you about her. At the engagement party? Because of your dad. Because of what he did to… your mom.”
He grits his teeth for a few seconds before nodding tightly.
And God, I still remember the way he looked that night. The way he almost lost it.
The way he was burning.
All because of his dad.
His evil, evil dad.
And to think that he actually believes he’s like his father? That he’s lived his life believing that…
“I’ll help you,” I say, flexing my thighs around his hips. “I’ll help you believe it. I’ll help you believe that you’re not like him.”
A flood of emotions moves through his face, his entire body and he shudders. “I know I’ve hurt you. I’ve hurt you countless times. I’ve lied to you. I’ve deceived you. I’ve been selfish with you and maybe it’s because I’m an asshole. Or maybe it’s because I’ve spent my entire life burying and denying any emotions at all. I’ve spent my entire life trying to feel nothing. So I know it’ll take time but… I’ll learn, Dora. I’ll learn to feel again. I’ll learn to love. I’ll learn to care. And I’ll learn to do it the right way. You…” He lets out a shaky breath. “You told me once that I don’t know how to care for you. I don’t know how to do it right and... You could teach me. You could… You could show me the right way. You could… and I’ll follow you. I’ll follow your lead. I’ll… I did so many things I—”
I press a hand on his mouth. “I don’t care what you did. Because whatever you did, I would’ve done the same thing. We’re matching souls, remember? And all I ever wanted was for you to see that. All I ever wanted was you to believe that. To believe that you could love me. That we deserve a chance. That’s all I wanted from you, Stellan. To just love me and let me love you.”
“I love you,” he says gravely.
Instantly.
As if the declaration was sitting on the tip of his tongue.
So I take the time to look at him.
I take the time to memorize his features.
The red and purple bruises on his face, his messy hair. That stubble.
I take the time to feel the heat of his body, the strength of his hold.
And I don’t think he’s ever looked more beautiful than he does right now.
I don’t think I’ve ever loved him more than I do right now either.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget this moment.
The moment when I tell him, for the first time ever, “I love you too.”
Before this, I was always the first—and the only—to say it. So I never got the chance to tack on the too. I never got the chance to return the feeling and God, it’s the most epic feeling ever. Saying it back when someone has said it to you first.
And I guess he’s thinking the same thing because my too rearranges his features and turns them all loose. It leaves his body relaxed and at ease. And he whispers, “I let you be alone in this. Before. I always left you in the dark with your love. But not anymore. I’ll never let you be alone, Dora. I’ll never leave you in the dark. You will know that you’re loved. Always.”
I smile, my eyes welling up. “I thought… When you brought me here, I thought… you were going to say this was it. You were going to end things and it would kill me. I thought I was going to die. I… And I was prepared to die. I was always ready to die at the end of this story, you know. I was—”
“You’re not dying,” he declares firmly, vehemently. “I’m not letting you fucking die.”
I let out a broken laugh. “Well, I didn’t mean literally. I meant—”
“I meant both,” he declares again, flexing his grip on my bod.
I laugh again. “Stellan, baby, that’s crazy. You’re not God. You—”
“Aren’t I?”
Chuckling, I rest my forehead on his. “You are. You’re my god.”
He lets out a relieved breath. “So then.”
“How about no one dies in this story?” Then, I correct myself, “Well, except the old, grumpy Stellan.”
He chuckles too. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
“Hey, how about we both die at the same time?” I go excitedly. “Wouldn’t that be epic?”