Total pages in book: 184
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 186756 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 934(@200wpm)___ 747(@250wpm)___ 623(@300wpm)
So why should this be any different?
“Still want me to give her the ring?” he asks then.
“Absolutely fucking not,” I say immediately.
His lips twitch. “So this is it, huh. She’s it. She’s the thing you’ll fight me for.”
“She’s the thing I’ll go to war with you for,” I correct him.
He stares at me for a beat. “Good for you then. That I’m prepared to surrender. Because,” he tips his chin, “I’ve got a mean hook.”
The bruise on my jaw throbs.
Not that I care.
I have no intention of tending to these. I deserve them.
I may have not deserved the other countless things I punished myself – something that’s going to take a while for me to get used to – these ones I deserve.
“I shouldn’t have hit you,” I say.
“You had to though.”
“I shouldn’t have gone behind your back,” I say next. “With her.”
“You had to though.”
I had to, yes.
Nothing could’ve stopped me from going for her. I see that now.
From getting with his girl.
But then again, she was never his girl.
She was mine. Since the beginning. Since the very first moment.
“I promised her that I’d help her move on from me,” I confess to him.
“And?”
“And I think I did it. Last night.”
Ironically.
When I showed her who I was. Or rather who I thought I was.
It was in her eyes.
It was in the way she looked at me. Like she couldn’t believe that it was me.
She couldn’t believe that the man she loved was doing those things. These heinous, terrifying things. Things she thought that she could handle.
“Are you going to let that stop you?” he asks.
I shake my head slowly. “No.”
Because I’m not that person as I’ve just found out.
I’m not saying that I’m suddenly perfect. I’m not saying that I’m not damaged or my demons have suddenly gone away. But I understand them better now. I understand that I’m not like my father, never was.
I’m free.
To live. To love. To want.
To go to her.
To finally, fucking finally, make her mine.
Or at least die trying.
I’m fucking free.
And it’s all thanks to my brother.
“Do you know why I started playing soccer?” I ask.
He’s a little taken aback from my change of topic but rolls with it still. “Why?”
“Because of you.”
A light frown appears between his brows. “What?”
Sighing, I nod. “It was you. I knew you liked it. You followed Con around, begging him to teach you. You’d always be outside kicking the ball. I never got it of course. I was more interested in reading and books and stuff like that. But I also remember that we’d fight with each other. A lot. You’d steal my books, I’d chase after you. You’d play pranks on me, I’d fight with you. Even back then I was so angry.” I shake my head. “But anyway, I picked it up because of you. Because I wanted to have something in common with you. I wanted to try to get close to you. So we didn’t have to fight all the time and I kept playing because of you. Because those were the only times when it felt like we weren’t against each other but on the same team. That it came easy to me is a different story. That it became safe, something I could control, something I could do with my life, is something else. But you were the one. Who got me into it. So in many ways you gave me a lifeline. Some direction of what I could do with my life. And it all started because I wanted to spend time with you. Anyway all this to say that you’re my twin brother. I care about you. I don’t know how to show it but I do and... Thanks for… Just thanks.”
He keeps watching me too, his features impassive.
Then, “I think you should stop. Because you’re going to make me cry, Stella.”
And I chuckle lightly. “And we can’t have that. Not with all your fans hanging around.”
“Fuck no,” he says, chuckling as well. “I’m the Wrecking Thorn. It’s bad for my reputation.”
“Noted.”
“And if you’re so desperate to spend time with me, maybe I can let you buy me a drink some time.”
I keep smiling. “I’d like that.”
I would.
I spent my entire life keeping him at a distance and now I will spend the rest of my life trying to be there for him. Being as loyal to him as he is to me.
I turn to leave when something occurs to me. “Hey, what were doing with that redhead? Callie’s friend.”
All traces of humor vanish from his face and his features get hard. “Nothing.”
I study him suspiciously. “Are you hooking up with her?”
“Fuck no,” he bursts out as if disgusted.
“So then…” Something occurs to me. “Is she the one? Is she your fucking stalker?”
He breathes out sharply. “Don’t you have somewhere to be? Don’t you have a girl to go and get?”