Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 73794 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73794 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
“Me too.” Caleb’s grin was wide as usual, but his eyes were more solemn as they’d been at the fundraiser. The secrecy was beginning to wear on us both, but I didn’t see an easy way out, and I sure didn’t want to give this up yet.
“Come here,” I demanded, setting my backpack near the door.
“What’s with the bag?” he asked as he followed my order, crossing the room to loop his arms around my neck.
“You said you wanted me to spend the night.” My cheeks heated. Maybe I’d broken some unsaid rule of casual hookups. “Figured I might want clean clothes to avoid the walk of shame back to Eric’s place. Trust me that the teens, especially Wren, would notice I was wearing the same shirt.”
“Smart call.” Caleb smiled up at me, eyes back to their usual sparkling blue. “And you are most definitely staying all night.”
“Good.” I pulled him in for the long, slow kiss I’d been hungry for all damn day. As always, Caleb met me kiss for kiss, eager and giving, welcoming me every bit as much as his cozy home. Breaking the kiss, I blew out a breath, resting my forehead against his head. It felt like my first true exhale the whole day, like now that we were here, I could finally relax.
And oh God, thinking of Caleb as a place to escape to was dangerous as hell. Seeking safety in another person was bound to lead to disappointment, as was cultivating a need for him.
Releasing him, I walked over to his crowded bookshelves as I tried to quiet my brain.
“Now what are you doing?” Tilting his head, Caleb narrowed his eyes at me.
“We have all night.” I managed to banish the rising anxiety from my voice as I studied his books. “I want to see which of your books I’ve read.”
“You read sci-fi?” Caleb sounded suspicious.
“Yeah, I listen to audiobooks mainly while working out or traveling, plenty of sci-fi along with several other genres.”
“A lot of my stuff is queer sci-fi.” Caleb quirked his mouth as if I might have a problem with it. “But there’s some mainstream titles too.”
“Neat. Loan me your favorite queer title?”
“You wanting to start a book club?” He studied me closely.
“Maybe.” I liked the vision of us trading books and discussing them sprawled on his couch or bed. “And you introduced me to queer sex. Might as well get me hooked on a new genre of books as well.”
“So now you’re hooked on queer sex?” Caleb made a sour face like I was already auditioning replacements.
“I’m hooked on you.” I pulled him close to me again and kissed his temple. “It’s entirely possible you’ve ruined me for all others.”
“I like that thought.” Caleb offered me a sweet kiss that turned hot in a hurry. He ran his hands under the T-shirt I’d tossed on after a quick shower at Eric’s when I stopped by to grab my backpack after the fundraiser. I returned the favor by squeezing his ass. Caleb gave a happy sigh. “Oh, that’s also a good thought.”
My foolish pulse chose that moment to speed up. “Speaking of new things…” I paused to worry my lower lip with my teeth, not entirely sure how to phrase this request. “I was thinking we might try the other way tonight.”
“You mean you bottoming?” Caleb sounded interested but not overly so.
“Yeah.” I hated that this felt like a big deal to my brain, which usually stayed calm despite new challenges. Not that this was a challenge. Gah. I flexed my fingers and tried to quiet my heart rate. “I did some research the other night. And I showered before coming over. Might be fun to try.”
“Might be.” Caleb gave me a critical stare. “You look nervous. You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to.” I hoped I sounded more convincing than I felt. The times Caleb and I had fucked, I had been curious about what things felt like from his side, and since, apparently, this was the summer of indulging curiosity, trying bottoming had seemed like a good idea. I had no idea why my nerves had decided to run rampant when I’d thoroughly enjoyed everything else Caleb and I had tried.
“Okay. But we can stop whenever. Promise. You being comfortable matters,” Caleb said as he took my hand. “Bedroom? That’s where the lube is.”
“Sure.” As part of our Ranger training, I’d learned various techniques to stay calm under interrogation. Stupid nerves continuing to jangle, I tried one of the deep breathing exercises while hoping Caleb didn’t notice my deliberate inhales.
Accordingly, as soon as we were in his bedroom, I tugged him in for a soul-searing kiss, deep and true. Surprisingly, distraction worked better than breath work, and it didn’t take long before my desire for Caleb overcame my anxiety enough to push his clothing off.