Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 73794 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 73794 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 369(@200wpm)___ 295(@250wpm)___ 246(@300wpm)
I shrugged, not liking the rising tension between us one bit. “Maybe I need more practice at secret affairs.”
Tony growled. “You better not.”
“Jealous?” I raised my head to peer at him, a weird hope flipping around in my chest.
“Damn right,” he snapped back, then softened. “I know I shouldn’t care so much, but I hate the thought of you with anyone but me.”
“Ditto.” I reached over and grabbed his hand. He squeezed mine back and interlaced our fingers.
“Who’d you hear about the rumor from?” he asked as he played with the calluses on my fingers.
“Sean.” I waited for Tony’s audible wince before adding, “He came over as a friend, not captain, but the warning was still louder than a tornado siren.”
“He’s not an idiot.” Groaning, Tony leaned back in his seat. Surprisingly, he kept holding my hand. “I guess we both know what this means.”
“Yep.” I tried to pull my hand away, but he grabbed it right back. “Tony—”
My voice cracked like a mirror hitting the floor, and I clamped my lips shut. Why did this have to be so hard?
“Hey.” Tony reached for me, and I was so damn desperate not to cry that I kissed him.
And he kissed me back, equally as desperate. We clung to each other, mouths and hands rough but hearts impossibly tender. We both knew what was happening as soon as Tony left my truck and for every damn day after that.
Yet we kissed like want and need might make a difference, like if we wanted each other enough, we could manifest a different outcome. I was sad and angry at myself, at him, at the whole damn universe.
I put every last complicated emotion into my kisses and caresses as he pulled me over the console so I could straddle him. I nipped at his bristly jaw only to soothe the spot a second later with my tongue. He moaned at both, which only emboldened me further. Likewise, I yanked at his shirt before softly massaging his shoulder.
For his part, Tony met my every ragged breath and rough touch. Yet somewhere between all the kissing and grabbing, my emotions started to spill over. My body wasn’t doing its usual gallop toward orgasm at all. In fact, neither of us was fully hard, and this felt less like sex and more like a feelings implosion that threatened to take us both out.
“Are you crying?” Tony pushed at my shoulders so he could peer at my face, a scrutiny I most certainly didn’t welcome.
“Nah.” I hoped I wasn’t lying. “Probably dusty in here. I haven’t cleaned the truck in weeks.”
“Look at me.” Tony cupped my face, swiping my cheeks with his thumbs. “It’s okay.”
I shook my head because nothing was going to be okay ever again.
“I can’t stand to see you sad.” His voice wavered like he was close to joining my breakdown. Perversely, I kind of loved that he was also struggling.
“I’ll get over it.” More lies.
“What if I don’t want you to?” He held my gaze, but I couldn’t decipher the message.
“You want me to be miserable forever?”
“No, I mean, I might have a solution.”
Hope, that stupid, foolish thing, gathered in my chest, pulse skittering like a happy puppy anticipating a car ride.
“Let’s hear it.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Tony
“Let’s hear it.” Caleb’s voice was far more suspicious than delighted. I needed a minute to decide how to best present the option I’d been dancing around all damn day, more so after being here with Caleb and realizing I’d rather make a home here in his truck than drive back to town alone. But Caleb either hadn’t had my level of epiphany or lacked patience because he prodded, “What’s your solution?”
“It’s simple, actually. I can quit the station, defer my fire academy admission a term or two, and see where this thing with you goes.” My hands started to shake, so I dropped them from his face. A tremor raced up my spine, the exact opposite of the electric sensation I always got when we touched or kissed. I’d never wanted something—someone—like I wanted Caleb.
“Absolutely not.” Caleb narrowed his eyes, not nearly as enthusiastic as I’d expected. Wasn’t he the one who was the relationship type? Doubt gathered in my stomach as he shook his head. “I refuse to have that on my conscience.”
“It’s an option,” I hedged, not wanting to look like a fool by offering too much.
“It was your dream when you were younger, and you never got to fulfill it because the army was more immediate job security.”
“Eh. Dreams change.” I shrugged like my chest wasn’t aching. “I was going to be a professional football player, then community college and firefighting became the fallback, and then the army became my life.”
“But this was your post-army plan.” Caleb, damn him, was nothing if not logical.
“I didn’t plan on you.” My voice came out as harsh as the stare I leveled at him. I hated that he was forcing me to spell this out, offering something he might not want. Showing fear wasn’t an option, so I tilted my chin and set my jaw. “I don’t want to give this up.”