Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 106948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 535(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106948 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 535(@200wpm)___ 428(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
“I was trying to do the right thing, you fuck! I didn’t know you actually loved her!”
Jose stepped between us with a Taser. “Either you two start making sense, or I’m going to electrocute both of you until you do.”
Knowing this wasn’t an idle threat—Jose had used this method in the past to break up his hot-headed sons—I managed to spit out, “He told Hannah I didn’t love her, and that I only brainwashed her into thinking she loved me.”
Jose’s face dropped, his wrinkles more pronounced as he turned on his eldest. “You didn’t.”
The fire left Fernando’s eyes and he sagged against the men holding him. “I fucked up, Papi. I thought it was all bullshit, that they were fucking this innocent girl over. She almost died because your brainwashing was strong enough to keep her from saying your name, Leo, because it would have put you in danger. She literally couldn’t speak because of your mind-fuck! That is some seriously messed-up shit.”
Guilt hit me in an uncomfortable rush. “I didn’t intend for that to happen.”
“But it did.” He shrugged off the guards. “Only I was wrong about one thing. You do love her, and it’s real. She loves you as well. I know you keep saying you didn’t brainwash her to love you—”
“I didn’t,” I growled yet again, wondering when in the hell anyone was going to believe me.
“I know, I know. Fuck, I’m messed up, Leo. My brain isn’t thinking right and…I need to go away for a while. Just get away from all of this and try to figure out what I’m going to do with my life besides waste it wishing I was dead.”
Jose clasped his son’s shoulder, his hammered-gold wedding band gleaming against his wrinkled brown skin. “Anything you need, we’re here for you.”
“I know, Dad, but I have to do this on my own. Don’t worry. I’m over the whole killing myself bullshit. Obviously I still have stuff to do here on earth before God lets me see Jason again, so I need to figure out what it is and get to it.”
Jose looked like he wanted to argue, but nodded instead. “I understand. Have you told your mother?”
“Do you see her trying to chloroform me?”
Everyone in the room laughed while Jose gave his son a wry grin. “This is true.”
They hugged, Fernando smearing blood on his father’s clothes, before he hugged me as well, our fight forgotten as I held him tight.
“Thank you for telling me.”
He released me then nodded. “You want my advice?”
“No.”
“Well, you’re going to get it anyways. Stop fucking listening to my mother. She may think she knows what she’s talking about, but she has no clue how your relationship with Hannah works, only you do. While distance may be what my mom needs in order to forgive someone, I don’t think Hannah’s like that. You’ll need to convince her that you love her, and allowing her to lock herself away in her mind isn’t gonna get her to pay attention.”
He said the words I’d been already thinking, and I nodded. “Maybe I’ve given her too much space.”
“I don’t blame you, the whole situation is royally screwed up, and I didn’t make it any easier. But if you have a chance with Hannah, any chance at all, you need to make your move, and quick.”
Chapter 17
Hannah
I sat in a comfortable floral, padded chair, completely ignoring Leo as I stared at the desert landscape outside. There were little bubbling sprinklers where I could watch the desert animals and insects come out of hiding for a drink. Though they didn’t usually appear if Leo was around, like they had some sense a predator was close even if they couldn’t see us through the one-way glass.
I hadn’t spoken to him since the day I’d found out everything I felt for Leo was a drug-induced lie. Right now, Leo was droning on about something but his voice had just become a lulling cadence, a background hum that blended in with the hollow ache in my chest. I’d found that if I tried hard enough, I could let my mind drift in a kind of meditative state, unaware as possible of the world around me.
Still, no matter how hard I tried, thoughts of him slipped through, and they hurt.
I’d never been anything more than an experiment to Leo, some stupid little girl he could fuck and make her call him Daddy. A distant part of my mind argued that even before I met Leo, I liked the taboo power-exchange relationships, but I didn’t pay it any attention. I’d become very good at drifting, at not thinking about anything.
“You have to eat more, Hannah, please.”
Tuning out again, I tried to feel hungry, but I could still barely keep any food down. I wasn’t sick, or pregnant—thank god—just broken. Not being able to trust my own emotions, wondering if I was some programmed yet self-aware robot, was terrible, and I wished I didn’t have to feel anything at all anymore.