Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 85399 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 427(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85399 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 427(@200wpm)___ 342(@250wpm)___ 285(@300wpm)
“Semantics,” I say.
She hums in disagreement.
“Fine,” I say, knowing I’m poking the bear but too ignorant to stop. “You’re fucking hot.”
Her face bleeds from pink to red. “Stop it.”
“Stop what? Telling you the truth?”
“Why tell me now?” She looks at me, puzzled. “Why say that? Are you trying to make this more awkward than it needs to be?”
Snaps’s ears perk up, and he raises his head.
I set my phone on my lap, next to my hardened cock. Her eyes follow the movement, widening slightly once they land on me.
I probably shouldn’t draw attention to my current state of arousal, but fuck it. It’s always walking on eggshells with this woman, whether it be that I screwed something up on her schedule or got buried too deep at work to remember dinner. I shouldn’t say she’s beautiful, because that would mean I’m just trying to get sex, or accidentally touch her when we’re getting ready for bed, because that would denote that I haven’t considered how many times the kids have touched her already that day.
“Get in bed,” I say, as if she’s going to listen to me. “Here.” Grabbing the extra pillows, I build a little wall between us. “You won’t even know I’m here.”
A shadow drifts across her face. Slowly, as if she’s climbing into a lion’s den, she takes her place on the bed. Before she lies down, she reaches over and turns off her light. Then she lies with her back to me.
“Want me to turn mine off?” I ask.
“I don’t care.”
I sigh and pick up my phone again. Swiping every minute or so—the amount of time I think it would take to read a page—I let my mind wander.
What would she do if I reached across the wall of pillows and touched her? Dismantled the pillow wall altogether and pulled her close to me? Kissed her on that spot behind her ear that always makes her smile?
My chest aches in a way that it really hasn’t in a long time. It’s hurt, sure, but not like this. Not with the distinct pain of having Lauren right there . . . but not there at all.
“Jack?” Her voice is soft. “Can I ask you something?”
I place the phone on the table beside me. “Sure.”
“You really didn’t know Maddie and I were coming?”
“No.”
She pauses. “Would you have come if you knew?”
I look at her over the pile of pillows. Her hair is splayed against the sheets. Her hands are tucked under her head and her legs are curled up beneath her. She’s tugged the blankets so they cover her bottom half, and I want to remove them—to tell her she doesn’t have to cover herself from me. That she shouldn’t.
“Jack?” she asks again.
“I don’t know if I would’ve or not.”
I say it before I can think it over and regret it instantly.
It’s true, though. Maybe I wouldn’t have come. After all, I didn’t know about the divorce then. I might’ve thought she just didn’t want to be with me and stayed home. God knows that’s happened more than once.
Whether I would’ve or not, I would’ve wanted to. I’ve been looking forward to this trip for months. It’s the only time of year when the stress of normal life subsides and we can just be us. There are no schedules or appointments, no lawn that needs mowing or outstanding chores to catch up on.
Lauren used to say that she wanted me home more—and I understood. I was in the beginning stages of building my business into something that could support us long term, and I wasn’t always able to walk away from work.
I had to be the man she deserved. A man who could take care of his family, like Dad took care of Mom and me.
But as fate would have it, as the shop found its sea legs and I didn’t have to be there so much . . . Lauren didn’t want me home. She was happier without me hanging around. Because of that, I was happier too.
It’s pure hell being around a woman you love so fucking much and knowing you’re making her miserable.
Despite it all, I’ve never once considered leaving Lauren. I’ve never considered that she would leave me. I can’t fathom a life without her—I won’t. Maybe we need to make some changes—maybe I need to do something different—but we will stay together.
We have to.
She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
“Good night, Jack,” Lauren whispers.
I turn off my light and slip under the sheets. Snaps curls up against my toes.
“Night, Lo.”
CHAPTER NINE
LAUREN
Let’s add this dish soap, and I think I’m done,” I say, sliding a bottle of blue liquid into the heap on the counter.
Mrs. Shaw laughs, her eyeglasses bouncing on the cord around her neck. “Did you leave anything for anyone else?”