Not Today Bossman – Bad Dog Novel Read Online Lili Valente

Categories Genre: Alpha Male, Funny Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 66767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 334(@200wpm)___ 267(@250wpm)___ 223(@300wpm)
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“Speaking of, I’d better get Kyle fed and calmed down before the photographer gets here,” Starling says, bouncing the feathered bully in her arms like a baby. “He gets nervous around the dogs sometimes.”

“He should be nervous around Barrett,” Christian shoots back, adding in a higher-pitched voice aimed at the bird, “That’s right, keep it up, buddy, and you’re going to end up the star of an early Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Stop it,” Starling says, her bright green eyes, so similar to Wren’s, flashing at Christian. “He’s been really well-behaved lately. He’s learned to sit and fetch and go to his bed all on his own every night, and he hasn’t pecked or clawed anyone in ages. I think Barrett just scared him, is all.” She glances my way, adding apologetically, “You were kind of loud and intense when you walked up, Barrett. No offense.”

“None taken,” I say.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?” Wren asks.

“Do you have a minute to speak privately?” I glance down at where Keanu is still slobbering on my hand like it’s the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted. “Or…with Keanu, I guess?” To Christian, I ask, “Why is he named Keanu?”

“His full name is Keanu Reeves,” Christian says with thinly disguised mirth. “His owner thought he was as handsome as Keanu in Point Break. At least that’s what she said when she surrendered him on her way to a long-term care facility that doesn’t allow dogs. But she needs cataract surgery so…”

“Keanu Reeves,” I grumble, frowning down at the happy monster. “What a ridiculous name.”

“Not any more ridiculous than any other,” Wren says, an edge in her tone that wasn’t there before. “I think you should keep it. And keep an open mind about things you find ridiculous. You might realize some of them aren’t ridiculous at all, they’re just different. But not in a bad way.”

Cursing myself for forgetting how much Wren hates the term “ridiculous,” especially when I use it in reference to her, I say, “Good point.”

“I make lots of good points.”

“You do,” I agree. “As a person in need of pointers, I appreciate that. And I’d appreciate your company at the benefit ball, as well, if you don’t already have a date.”

“You’re going this year? I thought you were busy, and aren’t you the guy who said the ball was a waste of fundraising money?” Christian asks, a subtle taunt in his voice.

I make a mental note to put extra hot sauce in his Bloody Mary at the next family brunch. Christian has a mild pepper allergy and right now seeing my baby brother covered, head to toe, in puffy hives sounds good.

“I can figure it out and I think it’s time I get out more.” I glare at Christian for a beat before turning back to Wren and adding in a gentler voice, “And you’re right. I should start giving ridiculous things a chance. Maybe they aren’t always as ridiculous as I think.”

“Good,” Wren says, “but unfortunately, I’ve already had an invitation to the ball. Christian asked me right before you came over.”

“Aw, that’s okay, and I just got a text that the event has been postponed by two weeks thanks to a scheduling conflict with another charity,” Christian says, proving he isn’t a complete asshole. “You two can go together. I’m sure you have a lot to catch up on after three months.”

“We can catch up at the office,” Wren says pleasantly. “I’d rather go to the ball with you. It’s been so long since I had a dance partner who could really dance.”

“Well, Christian can certainly do that,” Starling says, sounding less than thrilled about her sister’s decision. “Trinity Thompson had nothing but good things to say about that routine you did at her bachelorette party.”

“What?” Christian looks stricken. “She wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about that. That was a favor, a one-time thing for a friend in need.”

Starling smirks at him over Kyle’s head. “Nothing’s a one-time thing once it’s on social media. The internet is forever, Mr. Banana Hammock. See you guys later. And see you at home, Wren. I’ll be back no later than five. I’m cooking you a big welcome home dinner. I bought all the stuff for that spring pea and mint pasta you like.”

“Thanks, babes,” Wren says as Starling starts down the hill toward the kennels.

Christian mumbles, “Excuse me, but I need to ask her a few follow-up questions about bananas. And hammocks. I’ll touch base with you soon about ball plans, Wren. Excited to spend some time with you.”

“Me, too,” Wren replies, making my head feel like it’s about to explode as Keanu licks my hand with renewed vigor.

I know some people say dogs can sense when their people are upset.

If so, Rat Dog is going to be working overtime to soothe my savaged soul.


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