Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76696 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
“You could crash at my place for a while. My roommates wouldn’t mind. They practically have their boyfriends over all the time, so what’s one person more?”
“Thanks. Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer.”
“Did you see Zach again since the breakup?”
“He didn’t come home all night, and I didn’t see him this morning.”
Reagan shook her head. “I can’t believe he’s acting like that.”
“He seems to be coping well with the breakup,” I said miserably. “Better than me.”
Zach
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so wasted. I couldn’t even remember how much I’d drunk. Kevin was giving me the dirty eye. The fuck I cared. I emptied my glass. Day three after Amber broke up with me, but no matter how much I drank even thinking her name still felt like a canyon ripped open in my chest.
Fuck it. Fuck it all. Fuck my father most of all for making me turn out like him.
“Don’t blame your father,” Kevin said in exasperation. I hadn’t even realized I’d said anything aloud. I glared. “There’s a small voice called choice, Zach. You could try it. Try to act like a grown up and don’t get shitfaced. Go to Amber and make up. Tell her you can’t be without her. Tell her you love her and stop throwing yourself pity-parties.”
“I’m not fucking capable of loving anybody. Like my father said. I ruined it.”
“Then why if you didn’t love Amber are you acting like this? I’ve never seen you so miserable.”
“I’m not miserable. I’ve having a fucking perfect time.”
“I can see that.”
“Hey Zach, I’m surprised to find you here,” Brittany said, suddenly appearing at my side. “Where’s your girlfriend?”
“Gone. We broke up.”
“Oh, that’s a pity.” She leaned close to me. “Need some company?”
Kevin shook his head and left. Good. He was driving we crazy with his talking.
“We always had a good time, don’t you think? We’re meant for each other.”
Had she talked to my father? She ran her hand up and down my chest. “Let’s have some fun. You must be hungry after all the vanilla sex with Amber.”
“Don’t talk about her,” I growled.
“Okay, okay. Still a touchy subject.” Her hand graced my groin. “We can go to my place, or we can do it in the alley like old times. What do you say?”
“Alley,” I said simply and she took my hand and led me across the dance floor, through the backdoor into the alley. It was fucking cold. But I didn’t care. I couldn’t believe Christmas was in two days. My present for Amber would rot in my desk drawer for all eternity. Brittany started kissing my lips and I pulled away, gripped her shoulders, pushing her down. She grinned and opened my zipper. I closed my eyes as she curled her hands around my cock. All I could think about was Amber, her smile, her soft lips, the way her hair smelled, her laughter when I tickled her sides. What the fuck was I doing? I pushed Brittany’s hands away, took a few steps back and zipped my pants. “I can’t.” I actually felt like I was going to throw up.
“What do you mean?” She straightened. “Don’t tell me this is because of Amber.”
I closed my eyes, but quickly opened them again when I almost lost my balance. Too much alcohol. I was like the worst possible combo of my father and mother. A drunk cheat.
“You said it’s over between you and her, so what’s the fucking problem?”
“The fucking problem is that I still love her.” I froze. Love. I still loved her. Loved her so much it fucking hurt. I should have told her a long time ago. And it took a breakup and this to figure it out. Too late as always. “I’m sorry. But I can’t do this.”
I stumbled back into the club, bumping into several people and almost falling flat on my face a few times. Kevin stepped in my way, and slung one of my arms over his shoulders. “Already over?” His voice was harsh, angry.
He could be angry with me all he wanted. He couldn’t possibly hate me more than I hated myself right in this moment. I’d lost the first woman I’d ever loved because I was a stupid asshole.
“I couldn’t go through with it,” I muttered. “I still love Amber. I fucking love her so much it hurts. And I fucked it up. I let her go.”
“Let’s get you home,” Kevin said. “Maybe when you aren’t wasted anymore, we can figure out a way to get you back together with Amber.”
Why could I possibly do or say to make Amber give us another chance?
CHAPTER TWENTY
Amber
Loud knocking woke me. I glanced at my alarm clock. It was after midnight. I slipped out of bed and walked out of my room. “Brian?” I called but he wasn’t home. Maybe he was with Lauren. I headed for the entrance door but didn’t open it even when the knocking got more insistent. I peered through the peephole but it was empty. “Who’s there?” I asked.
“It’s me, Kevin.” He sounded strained. “Could you let me in? Zach can’t find his keys.”
After a moment of hesitation, I unlocked the door and found Kevin holding Zach up against the wall in the corridor. Zach was totally drunk. I sighed. “Do you need help carrying him?”
Kevin grunted when Zach stumbled against him. “Yeah. Maybe we can get him onto the couch. His room is definitely too far away.”
Kevin and I half-dragged, half-carried Zach over to the couch where he fell back and passed out.
“What happened?” I shook my head. “I probably don’t want to know.”
“He’s never been like this. I mean he’s always drowned his frustration in alcohol after a talk with his father, but he’s been drunk every day since your break-up. He’s miserable because of you.”
“Because of me?”
“He misses you,” Kevin said softly. “He loves you, Amber.”
“Did he tell you that? Because he never once said he loved me. And it doesn’t matter anymore. We would have never made it. Zach’s going to lead a company and I’m not the right person to be at his side for that.”