Total pages in book: 107
Estimated words: 102731 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102731 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 514(@200wpm)___ 411(@250wpm)___ 342(@300wpm)
It would make those early mornings so much easier for me. And Lewis would be closer to his family this way. Our parents might not like the idea of us moving in together after graduation, but I’m sure they loved the idea of us staying in Ardnoch. Lewis could attend Inverness University while I worked full time at the bakery.
Our own place.
Giddiness filled me at the thought of curling up together to watch movies every night, cooking together, talking to each other about our days. And, of course, not having to figure out when and where we’d have sex. We could have sex anytime we wanted.
The thought made me grin.
After our bust-up a few weeks ago, things had been so much better. Lewis had started talking about our future again, planning it with me, and making sure he was spending time with me. His earlier distance was forgotten. I mean, he was a bit broody still, but I think that’s because he was nervous about starting university.
As I approached Fyfe’s small house that he’d shared with his very absentee mum until she disappeared a year ago, I felt a pang of melancholy that I wouldn’t be doing this for much longer. Fyfe’s elderly neighbor, Deirdra, had lied for him and told the school that his mum had left him in her care. They even produced a fake letter with her signature. Truth was we all knew that even before Fyfe’s mum disappeared, he’d been looking after himself.
Luckily, the house had been an inheritance, left to his mum by his grandmother, so all he had to do was scrape together money for bills and food. We’d offered to help, but he was adamant he could do it himself. I didn’t know exactly how he got his money, but it had something to do with computers. Now that he was eighteen, it didn’t matter. Genius that he was, he’d gotten into one of the best computer science programs in the UK and was leaving us for the University of Edinburgh after the summer.
He was the friend I’d miss most.
Fyfe’s had also become the place we hung out most since there was no parental supervision. With that in mind, I let myself into the house without knocking. A quick glance into the living room produced no boyfriend and no Fyfe, and then I heard the rumble of their deep voices coming from the kitchen.
The door to the kitchen was open and though I couldn’t see them, I could hear them out in the garden.
“You need to tell her,” Fyfe said.
I took a step into the room, excited to share my news with Lewis.
“Callie will never understand. I’m fucked.”
Lewis’s tone, his words, drew me to a halt. My pulse suddenly throbbed, and I found myself scooting back into the doorway between the kitchen and living room, out of sight.
“We graduate in a few weeks, and your girlfriend doesn’t know you haven’t accepted Inverness’s offer. And she definitely doesn’t know you applied to UCL and got in.”
Last summer, I’d been working out with Lewis’s Aunt Robyn who boxed. The boxing bag had swung back and caught me just right, knocking the wind out of me. I felt that sensation now at the realization that Lewis had applied to a university in London. That he hadn’t accepted Inverness like he said he had.
Had he said?
Or had I assumed?
“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to Inverness.”
“So why haven’t you accepted it? Lew … you can’t stay here for someone else and you need to accept London before the acceptance deadline expires.”
“It’s not someone else though. It’s Callie.”
I held my breath, feeling utterly sick.
“Look, there’s nothing stopping you guys from doing the long-distance thing.”
“It’s not just … Callie never wants to leave here, so there’s no point going to London because I’ll end up back here, anyway.”
“Is that what you want, though? To live in Ardnoch for the rest of your life?”
I think I stopped breathing altogether as I waited for his response.
“You know it isn’t. But it’s what she wants.”
Oh my God. Tears blurred my vision.
“And—don’t bite my head off for this—are you absolutely positive you want to build your entire future around your high school girlfriend?”
“Fyfe—”
“I know you love her. Callie is lovable. But … this is your life we’re talking about. One day you might wake up and resent her for keeping you here. That’s not fair to her, man.”
“I don’t know.” His voice was thick with emotion. “The thought of hurting her fucking kills me … That night at your party made me feel like shit. Knowing I’d hurt her. Anytime I think about it, it eats me up.”
“But?”
“We’re eighteen. It has to cross her mind, too, that maybe … realistically … There’s no guarantee that who we’ll be in ten years will be someone that either of us still wants to be with.”