Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 49826 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 249(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49826 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 249(@200wpm)___ 199(@250wpm)___ 166(@300wpm)
Who knows, I don’t know; I don’t want to think about him now either. I’m not sure what’s to be done about this strange phenomenon that we seem to share, but right now, it’s the furthest thing from my mind. Right now, I just want to feel my woman for the first time, without anything else between us. No anger, no strange attachments, just Ellie and Nick as we were meant to be.
NICK
My heart finally calmed down now that I was planted deep inside her again after the fear of thinking that I’d lost her, lost this. That fear is something I think will haunt me for a long-long time, for as long as it takes to bind her to me anyway. Now that I had her pinned beneath me and she wasn’t going anywhere, that feeling of desperation also receded, and I could breathe again.
I held her close, as close as two people could possibly be, and it still wasn’t enough. I wanted to bury every part of me in her, needed to bond our flesh together in every way possible. Only then will it be enough. Only then will this wild ache inside me be tamed. The thought that I’d almost lost her, lost this, filled me with terrible dread.
I moved inside her, going deeper as I held her heartbeat close to mine. My teeth sank into her flesh as the need to mark her grew strong. Her pussy clenched in response as she finally came fully awake beneath me, wrapping her arms and legs around me in easy acceptance.
I could’ve shouted for joy. She might still be mad at me, but at least I knew that I hadn’t screwed things up completely. If she’d turned me away, I would’ve accepted, for now, would’ve given her the space she needed. But her response said otherwise.
My cock jumped, and my heart eased, but maybe it was too soon to celebrate because I felt her withdraw from me again as soon as she became fully aware of where we were and what we were doing. I felt the loss of those few scant seconds of recognition and could only imagine how my constant rejection had made her feel each time I did it to her.
Had she, too, suffered this same feeling of desolation at the distance I’d placed between us? The thought was gut-wrenching and made me feel like shedding some tears of my own. Now my heart ached with the memory of all the times I’d pushed her away as I looked down at her, brushing the hair back from her face so that I could see into her eyes in the moonlight.
Hurt, fear, and a whole host of emotions hid in her eyes, and I knew in my soul that I’d spend the rest of my life making it up to her, and that too still wouldn’t be enough. How had I missed it? How could I have been so blind to what I feel for her? To what she’d come to mean to me? How could I have hurt someone that I now knew was as much a part of me as my limbs?
“Oh, damn baby, I’m sorry, so sorry.” I hadn’t meant to say the words now, I had wanted to wait and do my due penance, wanted to take my time and give her what she deserved, but the way she looked up at me with such sadness and uncertainty compelled me to give her at least that much. Because the thought of hurting her for even a second longer made me sick to my gut.
My heart squeezed with pain when the first tear fell from her eyes, and I wiped it away with my thumb before kissing the tracks along her cheek to the corner of her eye and back. I held still, neither of us moving as my cock throbbed and dripped precum inside her.
I wanted nothing more than to fuck into her at will, to pound out the lust and fear that rode me hard, to re-stake my claim in every way possible, but now that I’d opened that door, I should probably walk through it. I was surprised to find myself without words, not knowing where to start, because words alone won’t do justice, won’t make up for what I’d done to her.
“There’s nothing I can say to take away the pain I’ve caused you, no excuse I can make. I don’t understand all of what’s going on here, but I know you don’t deserve the way I’ve treated you, not now and not in the past. Forgive me?” She studied me wordlessly, and I held my breath waiting for her response, but none was forthcoming.
She didn’t have the confidence to say the words out loud, but I read them plainly in her eyes. “I see! I guess I’ll just have to work harder then.” I closed my eyes against my own pain, the pain of knowing that I’d hurt someone, the only one I’ve ever loved. It hurt like a son of a bitch.