Series: Like Us Series by Krista Ritchie
Total pages in book: 241
Estimated words: 236417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1182(@200wpm)___ 946(@250wpm)___ 788(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 236417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1182(@200wpm)___ 946(@250wpm)___ 788(@300wpm)
“I didn’t know that,” I say, almost choked. I’m hit viscerally by her words. She’s not yelling. Not raising her voice. That’s somehow even worse. “I’m sorry—”
“I know,” she interjects fast. “I’m not trying to twist a knife any deeper. I just need you to know why it’s hard for me and why I’m upset. I don’t want to look at you and picture you naked or doing that.” Flush reddens her cheeks. “It’s what I’ve been picturing, if I’m being super honest, and it’s not right as Luna’s mom. I wish I could scrub my brain of that moment, but I can’t.” She intakes a bigger breath. “It’s made me feel guilty, like a terrible mom, like I’m screwing up, and I just need you to please keep this all in mind when you’re with Luna.”
I start to nod, but I ask, “Just for clarification and all, you’re saying no PDA in front of you, right?”
“No, no.” Her eyes pop out. “I’m not barring you two from kissing. I wouldn’t do that! Kiss all you want. Just don’t have sex in a place where I can walk in on you. Please.”
“Got it,” I nod. “Won’t happen again. Promise.”
Lily exhales, then stares off in thought. “Actually…”
I brace myself again.
“…I think we should talk about your intentions with Luna.” She sits straighter too. “Because she loves you. Like head-over-heels smitten, would do absolutely anything for you in love.”
My lips rise. “Likewise.”
Lily doesn’t smile back. “But she doesn’t remember the past three years. She doesn’t remember what she’s done and experienced, and I hope you’re keeping that in mind. Because if you’re not…” She jabs a threatening finger at me, but it’s not that intimidating coming from Lily who’s all soft edges. I force back another smile so I don’t look like a jackass. “You’re not someone I’d ever want for her.”
That phrase drills right into me.
My inward smile is gone. “I’ve thought about it more than you know.”
“Good.” She’s still scrutinizing me. “I had my worries, honestly, after I walked in on you two. You’re stronger than her. You’re older than her. And she’s very taken by you.”
“This isn’t just about sex to me,” I try to explain. “What’s between us—I’m not with Luna just to sleep with her. And I’d never misuse her trust in me. It’d kill me if anyone did that to her.”
Lily eases more. “Okay. Good. This is good.” She exhales again. “And I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you. It’s just that I’m more protective…” Her chin quakes a little, but she lifts it. “I want to make sure she’s okay. After what she went through…it’s important to me.”
A gnarled feeling wrestles in my chest. “I feel the same way, you know.” I glance at the wall, my eyes burning. “Thought I was protective of Luna before, but after what happened, it’s pretty much multiplied by some unquantifiable number—and I wouldn’t…I won’t ever let anything like that happen to her again. It’d…”
It’d break me.
It already broke me once, but it would do damage that could never be undone. Those words, I can’t release. They’re knotted in my throat. Instead, I manage to say, “I love her more than life itself. I’ve never loved anyone like that. Just Luna.” I take a breath and somehow meet Lily’s eyes. “I could tell you my intentions are to keep loving her like she deserves to be loved. But I’m not aiming to love Luna. It’s never been a goal to love her. Our love existed before I even knew it could. It’s there. It’ll always be there. For better or for better—‘cause life is only worse without her.”
Lily sniffs loudly. Her tears well. “Thank you.”
I almost start crying. “No, I should be—”
She shakes her head vigorously and stands up. I follow suit, and she’s telling me, “You don’t need to give me anything…else. Nothing else.” Her compassionate gaze says, you’ve given enough. It slams into me, and I try to exhale the ball in my throat.
“All I ask,” Lily says, “is that you always treat Luna like she’s your moon, your stars, your entire galaxy, like she’s every fragile and mighty thing.”
It’s the easiest thing anyone could ask of me.
“I will,” I breathe.
“Now…” She picks up her coffee mug and takes a tiny sip. “What’s your ship name? Because I keep seeing ‘dirty duo’ and that doesn’t sound magical enough for a ‘Luna and Donnelly’ pairing.”
I laugh into a grin. “Been thinking the same thing.”
After patching things up with Lily, I drive Xander into Center City for the mock panel. I would’ve driven Luna too, but she had to run over to campus this morning. Wyatt Rochester doesn’t accept any essays by email. It has to be turned in by hand.
He’s a real dick.
But she’s powering through the semester. Can’t wait for it to be over so I can stop imagining the Roach’s hate hard-on for her.