Total pages in book: 155
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 146417 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 732(@200wpm)___ 586(@250wpm)___ 488(@300wpm)
Tag pointed his way. “That’s your righteous self doing the talking. You don’t know that. She’s chosen her job over you before.”
“Because I pushed her away.”
Tag sat back. “I do think you’re the difference, but Solo knows she could have gone down that path given the right circumstances. And just for a second, she felt bad for him. It doesn’t mean she loves the asshole. It means she knows what it feels like to be left adrift. And the part at the end about going to Sanctum was about you being a whiny man bitch who didn’t honor your marriage vows.”
“I never cheated on her.” He hadn’t even thought of another woman when he’d been with Kim. Hell, even when he wasn’t with her, he barely seemed to think of anyone but her.
“No, but you left her,” Tag pointed out. “For better or worse, my man. If you can’t honor that, let her go and find someone who can because that woman could have found you with a gun in your hand standing over a dead body, and all she would have asked was how she could help. Maybe you need someone a little less dark than Solo.” Tag started to stand.
He didn’t want to leave things like this, and if there was one person who knew how to handle some darkness it was Tag. “I love her. She’s the only woman I’ll ever love, and I worry that the minute she’s safe, she’s going to leave me again. I’m worried she won’t let me back in and the only connection we’re going to have for the rest of our lives will be Roman. I love my son. I didn’t even know I could love someone the way I love that kid, but I want to be a family. I want my wife back. What do I do to get her back? How do I prove to her that I’ve changed and I won’t leave her alone again?”
It had been the worst thing he’d done in his life. He’d abandoned her when she’d needed him. Maybe if he’d stayed with her she would have trusted him enough to tell him about his brother. Maybe they wouldn’t have wasted all those years.
Tag stopped. “You really want her? You have to stop the bullshit with Levi. He’s the bad guy. He’s on the other side and she’s not in the middle, man. She never was. For years you treated this like a love triangle. She can’t be in a love triangle with her fucking stalker, and she can’t trust anyone who thinks she would. So let that go.”
He felt a bit weary. Why had he opened his stupid mouth? He knew her deep down. “I have. I know I had a moment of weakness, but I see it now. I can be dumb.”
“It’s good that you acknowledge that. The second thing you have to do is all about anger.”
Beck shook his head. “I’m not mad at her.”
“No, but she’s furious with you. I don’t think she knows how angry she is with you. She won’t acknowledge it.”
“I know.” He felt it every day. The only time she’d truly softened had been when they’d made love the night before. “She needs to let it out. She needs to yell at me and call me every name in the book and tell me how much I fucked up.”
Tag nodded. “Yeah. Until she does, it’s going to eat her up inside.”
“She doesn’t want to talk about it.” Every time he tried to gently broach the subject, she shut him down.
“She doesn’t feel safe talking about it. So make her feel safe. Give her what she needs to let it out.” Tag tapped the desk with the folders in his hands. “Sanctum is the sight of many a primal scream, my man. If you need to game plan, I’ll be in my office this afternoon.”
If he could get her to open up, they might have a chance. He sat back and played out the possibilities in his head.
Chapter Sixteen
The mood in the ladies’ locker room at Sanctum was jubilant. It was a stark contrast to the quiet that had fallen over her the minute they’d dropped off Roman in the building next door. She’d been told it was owned by Beck’s therapist, Kai Ferguson, who allowed a couple of conference rooms to be used as kids’ care when Sanctum was open. This evening Kai and his wife Kori had been there to greet them along with two women and a man who were working as caregivers that night. It had been explained to her that Doms and subs who couldn’t afford the cost of a Sanctum membership could still gain access by working one night a week.
Though it didn’t look like work. It looked like holding babies and playing games with kids.