Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87367 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 437(@200wpm)___ 349(@250wpm)___ 291(@300wpm)
Big Daddy’s words tumbled around in my head, in my damn chest too, in that place where Brody was. My country boy had found a home there, all right.
“It never would have worked out,” I managed to say. But I’d wanted it to. God, I’d wanted it to. I still did.
“Oh, and you know that how? Your magic crystal ball? Why didn’t I know about this ability of yours? Wait, did you go back to the Barn for a reading I don’t know about?” I sighed, and he added, “What in the hell happened that you aren’t telling me?”
This time when I pulled away, Isaac let me. I sat on the edge of the bed, with my back to him. I wanted to tell him, wanted to let it all spill from my lips. What I’d found, my conversation with Big Daddy, but I wasn’t sure Isaac would understand. He didn’t know Big Daddy the way I strangely felt like I did. He didn’t know Brody the way I did. This was all too much of a clusterfuck for it to end any other way. “Nothing. There’s not a damn thing I’m not telling you. But we do need to figure out what our next move is. We should try something totally different. We both have savings.” I needed to sell Mitchell Creek and find a way to get the money to the O’Ralleys. It wasn’t mine, wasn’t ours. We didn’t deserve any of it.
“You might have to fly this one solo,” Isaac said softly behind me.
I froze, my heart stopping as the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I turned to look at him. “What do you mean?” Isaac’s gaze wouldn’t meet mine. He never avoided me this way. It made my chest get tighter and the feeling of emptiness inside me grow. “What is it?”
“I just… I know it sounds crazy, but it felt right there. It’s weird, and quirky, and most people have zero fashion sense, and sometimes I still feel like I’m in a cheesy small-town flick, but…I don’t know. It felt right. Like I was doing something I was supposed to be doing. I’ve never had that, ya know? And I love you like a brother. I always will. You’re the only family I’ve ever had, but I…I think I’m in love with Walker.” The last sentence was said so softly, I almost couldn’t hear him.
“What?” I was shocked so stupid, I could have fallen off the bed. “You guys are…”
“I haven’t told him that. Oh God, do you think I’m crazy? I would never say it first, and he’s not out to his dad and not ready to do that yet. I’ve never known anyone like him. He makes me feel wanted in ways I never have. We’ve been…fucking around, secretly, and I probably shouldn’t have even told you, but I need you to understand. When it’s the two of us…it’s perfect. I can’t walk away from that.”
I sat there, unable to find my voice. I knew Isaac was attracted to him, obviously, but they’d been sneaking around? My best friend who was anti-love and never wanted to settle down thought he was in love with Walker O’Ralley?
He hadn’t told me, but then, I had things I hadn’t told him either. Now the secretiveness made sense, when he would disappear and I didn’t know where he was.
“I think he was hurt when I told him I was leaving with you. That’s what made me realize I love him—the way it felt to hurt him, and thinking about saying goodbye. But it’s you, and we’re us, and how in the fuck do I live without you? But…I don’t think I can do it. I don’t think I can stay. I don’t even know if Walker will have me, if he’ll want me, but I have to try.”
In that moment, for the first time since we’d known each other, I was filled with jealousy toward my best friend.
My brother.
Because Christ, I loved Brody too, and I wanted him, wanted him so damn much, it hurt to breathe. So much, I was afraid I would never be happy again, and apparently Isaac felt the same way about Walker, yet he wasn’t running. He planned to go back and fight for what he wanted.
Our situations weren’t the same, though. Big Daddy could eventually accept Isaac in ways he never could me. Isaac’s family hadn’t stolen from them. My whole family business was based on a lie I didn’t know how to come to terms with.
“Cohen, say something.”
I grabbed him, pulled him to me, and hugged him. “I’m happy for you. Christ, of course I’m happy for you. And he’d be stupid not to feel the same. You’re Isaac fucking Connors. Did you really think I would be angry with you?” I had to admit that hurt, but only because I wanted what he had. I wanted to be with Brody, and I couldn’t imagine my life without Isaac in it every day.