Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 142664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 713(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 713(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
He doesn’t know it, but I’ve been watching his every move. I watch the way he is with me, making sure that he’s not just going through the motions to get what he wants before moving on. Not for nothing, but the fact that he had stayed with someone for eight years is a two-edged sword.
For one, it proves that he can be faithful even with someone he wasn’t deeply in love with. And on that same token, he was able to stay that long with someone he wasn’t in love with. I know it makes me sound like a needy bitch, but I’ve grilled him up one side and down the other about his true feelings for me.
I’d hate to be in love with him the way I have come to accept that I am, only to learn somewhere down the line that he’s just tolerating me because he’s too lazy or doesn’t care enough to go looking for someone he genuinely loves.
I’m pretty sure that that’s part of Natalie’s issue with our marriage. Like he tried to explain, she must have been feeling hurt because he’d married me in such a rush when she had held out for eight years with nothing to show for it.
I think I’d have felt the same way if I had been in her shoes, so that’s not my problem with her. That comes from the things she had said about me. Had she been just a friend looking out for an old friend, I could have let it slide, but she went in on me and tried to get him to see me as some nonentity that was after his money.
So, now that Helen and Mitzie had been dealt with, I turned my focus to her because Lacey and Denny were busy canceling each other out. The way those two have been going after each other, there won’t be anything left for me.
I know that Denny must be losing his shit because of everything that has happened in the last few weeks, especially since I ghosted him without a word; his ego won’t handle that well, and that’s what I’m banking on.
I guess he never took the time to know me the way I know him, but then again, people always think of others and what they know of themselves, so he probably thought I was as weak and full of shit as him.
Some jackasses in the old group chat, high off their ass, maybe, were bemoaning the fact that I didn’t even give him a chance to explain and saying how cold I was for that. Uh, what is there to explain? I saw with my own eyes, no explanations necessary. I guess next, they’d be saying I need to apologize. Then I’d get mad enough to run them over with my car if I saw them on the street.
Thankfully, there were only one or two people with that stupid ideology, and they’re not people I like anyway, so I just told them to get fucked in the chat. This started a war of words, and the girlies had my back.
Apparently, ghosting someone without giving them a chance to defend themselves is childish, but what I see are other cheats trying to make themselves feel better about their shitty behavior. Now they’re in the comments fighting for their lives because, apparently, their partners don’t take too kindly to their take on things.
Or it could be the fact that I exposed some of their past deeds and told them I was ready to discuss those whenever they were. I won’t be hearing from them again.
I had about thirty missed calls from Dad, two each from the brothers with as many voicemails. The boys know me well enough to know that nothing will move me from my position, but Mom was being a pain.
I simply sent her a short and sweet message, ‘You can be not my Mom as well if you’d like.’ She’s mad because I told Corbin he wasn’t my Dad. I guess she thinks I’m disowning him; I’m just trying to get it through his head that a real Dad would not have done the things he did.
He's still stuck on thinking he was right, that he was just trying to save me from whoever Helen was going to hire. And I still want to know about the minutes and seconds leading up to the first time he fucked her and cheated on my Mom and our family. Until he is ready to tell me these things, we’re done.
I’m not forgiving him to ease his guilt; I hope it chokes him in his sleep. Mom thinks my attitude is going to put a strain on things because, apparently, he’s been staying with her, but I reminded her that I can be there and not say one word to him, and we’ll all be fine.