Total pages in book: 154
Estimated words: 142664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 713(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142664 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 713(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
“Would you jump out of a plane with me?”
“In a heartbeat, just say when.” I think I just might like being married to his crazy ass.
“But how do you know that I’ve done anything?”
“Because your enemies are my enemies, so I have to keep an eye on them too. Didn’t you read about my genius in my portfolio? Why do you think the Feds wanted to recruit me to be a profiler at twenty-two?”
“So what? You figured all of that out just by watching them?”
“Yes, them and you. I knew you weren’t done the night with the bat attack. When I was alerted to what happened at the airport, I figured you had a hand in it.”
“You better not try any of that hoodoo bullshit on me or else.”
“Yes, ma’am, now let’s get you back before your brothers come a calling.” Somehow, I don’t think he’s afraid of that happening. But now I have another worry. How the hell do I keep shit hidden from this mind fuck?
“So, what do you want for a wedding present? Think carefully because I can get you anything.”
“Fleas.”
“How many?” He didn’t even miss a beat.
“About a thousand.” We were in the back of the Rolls on the way back to the resort, and I was only half joking.
“Done!” Wait, no questions asked?
“Really? Where the hell are you going to get fleas?”
“My people will handle it. Any place in particular you want them delivered?”
“My Dad’s house. Can you get them by Saturday? Preferably at about the same time as our ceremony.”
“Done!” Be still, my black heart.
“Just how crazy are you anyway? I mean, I know I’m pretty much certifiable; I don’t try to hide it; what about you?”
“You’re not crazy. You just don’t like people fucking with you. Nothing wrong with that. I’m the same way, only ten times worse, little Alyssa.”
I gave him stink eye because, seriously, he was defaming my character. “My brothers would have me locked away if they knew what I was up to.”
“So don’t tell them. It’ll only make them worry.”
“But you’re not worried.”
“No, because after I put my ring on your finger, no one in their right mind would mess with you.”
“Well, aren’t you the ultimate badass?” We pulled up to the resort, but I was surprisingly reluctant to go.
“This is it. Your last chance to back out of this madness of your making.” I looked at him as the car came to a stop.
“Why ever would I do that? I can’t wait for the adventures that await.” What exactly is he expecting to happen?
“I’ll call you later after your family is through grilling you. My people are on your floor, but you won’t know that they’re there. Just in case you get cold feet.”
“That’s just great. Now I’m going to think that everyone I see is one of your people.”
“It’s only for now; once we’re married, I’ll introduce you to them; well, some of them anyway. It’s good to keep some of them hidden.”
“I’m still not understanding why I need to have security. I’ve lived all my life without it.”
“Do you have any idea how much money I’m worth?”
“Not really. I know some of it for business purposes and you did give me a dossier with the same, but I’m sure you have lots more. What has that got to do with anything?”
“Our wedding is going to be announced seconds after it’s over. Don’t worry; my PR rep will handle the details.”
“You thought about all of this, huh!”
“Of course, I had weeks; after all, while you were running around causing mayhem, I was doing something productive.”
“So, you’re announcing our wedding. What if I’d said no?”
“Then your family would’ve been announcing your disappearance.” I somehow think he means that shit. I pointed my finger at him, “I think we need to find a surrogate and a donor.”
“Not going to happen, but why do you say that?”
“Because I’m afraid of birthing the antichrist. Why are you laughing?”
“That’s not a nice thing to say about our future progeny. Personally, I can’t wait to have a little girl who looks just like her mother.”
“We’ll see.”
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of childbirth.”
“No, but I hadn’t given much thought to starting a family anytime soon.”
“It’s best to get started right away.”
“Why is that?”
“Because the sooner we start, the more kids we can have.”
“How many kids are we talking about here?”
“Six, seven, but I’ll settle for five if you insist.”
“Who in the….”
“Careful!”
“Do I look like I know what that word means? Whose hoo-hah is pushing out these sixty-eleven kids of yours?” What the hell conversation am I having right now? If this was Denny, I’d have already put his ass in check, but I don’t think I would get away with it with this nutjob.
“Go on inside. I’ll pick you up in the morning; tell your family to be ready by nine.”