Total pages in book: 238
Estimated words: 231781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1159(@200wpm)___ 927(@250wpm)___ 773(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 231781 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1159(@200wpm)___ 927(@250wpm)___ 773(@300wpm)
The path to who we want to be is winding, at best. Everything was justified because we were all the victims in our story.
“There’s no one we make suffer more than those we love,” Aydin chimed in.
His arm sat on mine, our fists grinding against each other as we tried to squirm our way free, but I gazed at Emmy and the valley between the olive skin of her breasts and her toned stomach, and I could almost feel her in my hands.
She was so close. Do you still want to hold me? I blinked long and hard, trying to push away the swelling in my groin.
“Do you want to know what I did to get in here?” Aydin asked her. “The awful shit I pulled?”
She watched him, and despite the cool air, a light layer of sweat coated my neck and chest.
“I refused…to get married,” he answered. “That’s it.”
Alex’s eyes fell, and she looked like she wanted to be anywhere else.
“And I can get out anytime I want,” Aydin continued. “As soon as I agree.”
I didn’t actually know that, but it changed nothing. I knew of Aydin before I came here. He was in Meridian City frequently, and we were often at the same clubs and parties, although we never met.
“Did you think I killed someone?” he teased Emory. “Fucked my sister, maybe?”
Maybe, out of all of us, he was sent here for the least, but he was capable of the most, because he knew people almost immediately upon meeting them. It had happened with Rory, Micah, and Taylor. Even I had been here so much longer than necessary, because he proved too difficult to maneuver.
“My future wife is beautiful, smart, she comes from the right family,” he said. “The hand-picked, perfect spouse and mother to build my life around. And I was completely on board…until one night.”
“The artist…” Emmy said.
I shot my eyes up, looking between them and seeing him nod.
Artist? How did she know anything about it?
“What did she do?” Em asked.
He stared at the women, and I followed his gaze, both Emmy and Alex looking so beautiful that I swore I felt myself back in my old room in my parents’ house, nestled in my damn bed as the morning light heated the sheets.
“That,” he answered.
Alex’s chin rested on Emmy’s shoulder, and she slid her fingers around her naked waist, caressing her.
“This?” Alex taunted.
Aydin and Alex stared at each other, unblinking, as the pulse in my neck throbbed faster.
“I just watched her through the computer screen,” he said, as if in a trance, “and it was like my skin had sliced open, releasing all this pressure I’d gotten so used to feeling my entire life.” His chest rose and fell more rapidly by the second. “And I could finally breathe and see color and shit. I felt hot, and the world suddenly looked so different, because…”
He swallowed as Alex splayed her hand across Emmy’s stomach, touching her softly and gently. Em sat frozen, but after a moment, she relaxed into Alex, inviting her in.
“Because no blade cuts as deep as something that beautiful,” he whispered.
Cuts… I dropped my eyes to the tattoo I’d done on his shoulder. Claw marks dug into his skin forever.
“She had these eyes.” He stared at Alex, scared and desperate. Like the memory hurt. “I swore I could reach through the screen and touch her, the way she looked at me and made everything else disappear. I didn’t care what I lost, what I risked,” he told her, “I had to have her.”
I gazed at Emmy, remembering how stubborn I thought she was, but really she just made sense, and I resented her for it. We were a part of two different worlds, my friends would be difficult with her, and I was outgoing and loved to be around people, and she preferred to be alone. We were so different.
But those moments, like when I had her in my arms in the theater, confirmed what I already knew.
It would be worth it.
“But when I finally worked up the courage to claim her, she had survived without me,” Aydin explained. “It hurt. I’d been tearing myself apart in my head, going crazy, and she’d…she’d let everyone have a piece of something that was mine. I was a memory. I didn’t matter.”
“And she was a whore for it,” Alex said.
He held Alex’s eyes as she pulled one of the straps of Emmy’s bra down her shoulder, and Emmy didn’t stop her as her stomach rose and fell.
But Aydin answered, “No.” He gazed at the girls as Emmy’s other strap came down, and Alex’s hands trailed over her body. “She puts one foot in front of the other, does what she has to do, and lives honestly. She’s unashamed with her fucking chin up.” His voice grew stronger. “She’s loyal, everyone’s mother with warm arms and a kind smile, a survivor, and she solves the problem without dwelling on the loss.”