Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 95609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 95609 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 478(@200wpm)___ 382(@250wpm)___ 319(@300wpm)
The host steps in and gravely explains that this is the last choice the king will make this evening and if we do not hear our names, we must say good-bye and give up our hopes for the throne forever.
Riley is already crying, and I hold her hand.
I can’t help but tear up, too. There were so many of us, and now I’m left with these women I’ve gotten to know and love. Well, most of them. The show is coming to a rapid conclusion, and these moments somehow feel precious to me.
“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” Luca says, his voice thick with tension.
Well, he’s the head of a whole country so I doubt that, but we’re playing for drama. I squeeze Riley’s hand and hope I look nervous.
“I have to think about not only what is best for myself, but more importantly, what is best for my country. I need to select a queen who will embody all the things I love about Ralavia. The independence of her people, their willingness to come together during hard times and make tough choices that enrich the group rather than the individual.”
His words kind of flow through me because I’m more concerned about how I’m going to handle this gently with Riley. Should I hug her and talk to her before I approach Luca? Or wait for the group good-bye?
“For these reasons, I’m giving my last daisy to Riley.”
I turn to her, ready to give her a hug, but she’s stopped and there’s no way to miss the gasp that has gone through the room.
The world seems to still for a moment, and I look to Luca, who stares at me as though willing me to take this with some grace. He’s not looking at Riley at all. He dumped me on camera, and he’s trying to get me to walk away with some dignity. I don’t know. I only know he’s staring at me like I should understand why he did what he did.
I look to Joe, who’s smug now, and I do understand.
I understand that I’ve been betrayed utterly by a person I believed in. Jessica isn’t doing anything but covering up Joe’s crimes. That’s the only explanation. I mean, I guess I could believe Luca never cared about me and used me for sex and now he’s dumping me, but the timing is too perfect.
They convinced him to give me up. They likely told him they would end production if he didn’t. Hans just told me so. His words make sense now. I’m the sacrifice, and Ralavia is what Luca truly loves. It’s his only love.
“Ani, are you okay?” Riley whispers the question.
I’m not okay. I’m gutted. I’m humiliated. I’m wrecked in a way I didn’t think possible.
Tears pool in my eyes, but I’m not giving them what they want. Or maybe I’m giving them exactly what they want. What I won’t do is humiliate myself. It’s time to retreat. He’s made his choice, and he never lied to me. He always said he would pick his country over anything and anyone. “Go on.”
My heart fucking breaks as he kisses her cheek and hands her the daisy, asking if she still wants to be his queen.
“Of course,” she says and runs to join Hannah.
Then it’s my turn to say good-bye. I can’t believe I’m saying good-bye. My hands shake as I step off the dais. Every camera is on me as I face Luca. His expression is blank as he steps forward, his arms out.
I can’t. I can’t hug him and tell him everything will be fine. I can’t do that cheek-kissing thing when I remember how this man really kisses. I can’t thank him for spending the last few weeks making me fall in love with him.
He told me who he was and I didn’t believe him. I made the entirely feminine mistake of thinking I could convince him to believe in love when he told me he didn’t. I believed Jessica when she said she wouldn’t make other women go through what she had. I believed the system would work when I have so much proof it doesn’t.
I love him. That’s the hard part. I love him with all my heart and even as I stand here, I know there’s the chance that he’ll go through all of this, get what he needs for Ralavia, and be back on my doorstep one day. Hell, the way he’s looking at me, he might be up for a backdoor affair right now. Which when I think about it, that’s what we already have. He might think he can have his cake and eat me, too.
“It was nice to meet you, Your Majesty,” I say, and I hate how my voice wavers. But I stand tall as I turn away from him. He no longer matters. Luca made his choice and it wasn’t me. I walk toward the women I’ve grown to love. “But you guys… I’m going to miss the hell out of you. Come here.”