Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
“Not the fuck now,” AK spat. “I’m gonna meet these kids of Ky and Lilah’s, and then take you and Phebe home.” He pointed a finger at Zane’s face. “Then we’re gonna have a talk, kid. A real fucking long talk.” Zane nodded and pushed his hands deeper into his pockets, dropping his head.
“Zane! I’m thirsty! Papa told me you had to take me to get a soda and some snacks.” Grace—Ky and Lilah’s kid—stood beside Zane, looking up at him. She pulled on his arm, taking his hand from his pocket. “Let’s go! I ain’t got all day!” Grace yanked on Zane’s hand and dragged him down the hallway, out of sight.
“That kid will be a fucking ball-buster one day.” AK shook his head. “Takes after her old man. Right now, Zane deserves her smart mouth bossing him around. Little shit.”
The double doors in front of us opened and Ky walked out. Styx moved first, smiling at his VP, and hugged him. AK hugged him too. Ky nodded at me. “Flame.”
“Well?” AK asked.
“Two healthy kids.” Ky pushed his hands through his long blond hair. “Azrael and Talitha. Li named them both. Some biblical shit.” He shrugged. “Don’t fucking care. After seeing her cut open to get them out, but so fucking strong, smiling through it all, she could have named the kids Cuntface and Shithead if she’d wanted to and I wouldn’t have cared.” AK and Styx laughed. But my eyes were fixed on the small glass windows of the double doors. I moved closer when I saw Maddie’s purple dress pass by. She was in that room.
AK and Ky talked behind me, but I didn’t listen to their words, it was all white noise. My feet ground to a halt as I looked through the window to see Lilah on the bed, Phebe and Bella on chairs beside her. Bella was holding Charon. Mae held one of the babies… and Maddie held the other. My chest tightened so fucking hard that I fought to breathe. Seeing Maddie was meant to make my breathing better. But seeing her like this… it was worse. So much fucking worse. Maddie was holding a baby. My Maddie, staring down at a kid wrapped in a blue blanket… and she was talking to it. Fucking smiling, smiling so big that I couldn’t take my eyes off her glowing face.
Maddie was holding a baby. I’d only ever held one baby… My skin burned, it fucking set on fire at the memories that were trying to break through the fog in my head. I focused on Maddie. On her beautiful, perfect face and how it would make everything better if she just looked my way.
Then Maddie’s lips started to move. I couldn’t hear her through the thick wooden doors, but I knew she was singing. I knew what her voice sounded like. And I knew what she’d be singing. “This Little Light of Mine…”
My palms flattened on the doors and I read her lips as she sang. Watched her small body sway with the baby in her arms. My throat began to close. I remembered Maddie’s picture from her sketchbook. Not the one of us holding each other, the one that had made me want to touch her when I’d never wanted to touch anyone else. The one with her holding a baby, me beside her.
But I couldn’t ever hold a baby. We couldn’t ever have one of our own. Maddie knew that. My touch killed babies. Isaiah… I remembered Isaiah in my arms, red and screaming in the cellar. Then I remembered holding him, his cries stopping and his breathing turning strange.
His chest rattled. I’d counted his breaths. One… He’d sounded bad, real fucking bad. I’d counted two to eleven… then the breathing stopped. His skin color changed on eleven… He never reached twelve. He never fucking reached twelve.
My eyes snapped back to Maddie in that room. My hands were shaking and sweat dripped down my neck. Maddie’s skin color was funny too. Just like Isaiah’s had been. Was she as sick as he had been? “Maddie,” I whispered. Maddie turned her head at something Lilah said. I stared down at my hands. They were shaking so fucking bad that I clenched my fists to try to make them stop. But they didn’t. Then I froze. Was my touch making her sick? Was it me who was hurting her? Finally? I backed away from the window and slumped on the nearest seat. But I kept staring at my hands. Trying to see if they looked different. If the devil had somehow made me eviler, more damned, so I would hurt Maddie.
“Flame? You good?” AK asked from across the hall, where he stood beside Styx and Ky. I automatically nodded, but I kept staring at my hands, waiting for a sign that the evil was stronger than ever, watching my veins to see if they would change color. I squeezed my eyes shut and let Maddie’s singing voice invade my head. Her soft voice always kept me calm.