Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 102136 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 511(@200wpm)___ 409(@250wpm)___ 340(@300wpm)
This morning, while Flame slept, I called AK and told him what we must do. The final task that I believed could perhaps free Flame from the burdens that gripped him in waves of sadness, that kept him from reaching happiness. The horrors of my past weighed heavily on my mind. Nonetheless, I was equipped with the strength to find joy in the life I had now. Flame was that strength.
Flame adored me, of that I had no doubt. But his brain worked differently to my own. I had to lead Flame to his redemption, to the fountain where he could wash in the waters of self-forgiveness. Or in his case, to the heavy door that shut out any chance of him moving on. I would take him to that door. And I prayed that he would walk through it and close it behind us. He was the only one who could. I believed he had the strength to do so.
I heard movement outside of the cabin and I guessed it was AK getting prepared for our journey. I stood on my tiptoes and smoothed Flame’s black hair back from his eyes. Styled like this, no harsh hairstyle or hands leaden with blades, he appeared younger. Or that could have been the way his shoulders were slouched, all confidence diminished. “It is a long journey,” I said and Flame slowly met my eyes. I had not told him to where we traveled. I did not want to worry him or cause him pain. Of course, I knew it would cause him pain—untold pain. But I also believed this had to be done.
Just like when we had fallen in love, Flame had to confront his poppa in order for us to be able to live as one. Now he had to delve deeper inside his heart and soul, into the darkness he kept siphoned off. He had to reach the parts of him that he had locked away and tried to forget. These parts were not so easily forgotten—there his ‘demons’ resided, the demons he claimed lived in his blood. They were not demons, I knew, but echoes from his past that he tried and failed to silence. Yet they would not ever be silenced until he met them head on. Until he forgave himself for things that were out of his control. Maybe then, I would get my Flame back. Maybe then, I would get my husband back. Maybe then, he could become the father I knew he could be.
My heart clenched in my chest. My plan had to work. It had to. I would not accept any other alternative. Flame gripped my hand as though he could sense my inner fears. His fingers trembled around mine. It brought a lump to my throat and a quick stinging to my eyes. I did not want to see Flame go through any more pain. But to be free of his burdens, such pain had to be endured. Blood had to be cleansed to heal an infected wound. “Are you ready?” I asked quietly, a quivering voice betraying my trepidation.
Flame nodded once, trusting with everything he held dear that I would not hurt him. In this moment, I hated myself. Because here I was, leading him straight into the fire. But as always, I would be beside him. Together we would burn and, in the very depths of the inferno, we would be reborn.
I led Flame to the door. Before we stepped outside, I turned to him. “AK and Viking will be coming with us.” Flame’s nostrils flared, but not in anger. His face did not show any expression. But I could tell by the way he pulled me closer, as though I were a human shield, it was in fear. As though he would prefer to stay in our cabin, just him and me, no one else near. I kissed the back of his hand and I saw the hairs on his arms stand up at the touch. Flame had always been my shield. Now, I would be his. I would be the protector for both of us in this battle, while he was wounded. And I intended to save him. I would bring him home, changed for the better.
I opened the door. The warm Austin sun shined down on the clearing defined by the three cabins. I closed my eyes as the bright rays bathed my face. The bright light filled me with—hope, determination, and the belief that this would work. It must work. Viking jumped up from the chair he was sitting in outside his cabin. Flame held my hand so tightly it hurt when his friend moved. I faced Flame and ran my hand over his chest. “Everything will be okay, baby. I promise. No one will hurt you. We all love you.”